Asperger's Syndrome: Understanding Your Literal Thinker

Children with Asperger's Syndrome are very literal in the way they think, what they say, and how they interpret what you say. The key to having a productive conversation with your Asperger's child is to remember just how literal they are.

Idioms and Metaphors

Your child with Asperger's Syndrome does not understand idioms or metaphors. Aspies can learn what specific phrases mean, but it isn't something that comes naturally to them. To them, the word "antsy" conjures the image of someone with ants crawling all over them. My son with Asperger's Syndrome thinks the phrase "break a leg" means something violent.

My son gave me a very literal meaning to almost every idiom or metaphor I threw at him. Could you imagine how someone with Asperger's Syndrome might interpret the following paragraph?

Joe got canned yesterday when he blew his top at his boss. His boss accused him of being a blabbermouth, and the bottom line was that Joe never said a word about his boss having lunch with an old flame . Joe's termination is really going to break his wife's heart. I hear they are broke.

Polite Conversation and Etiquette

Children with Asperger's Syndrome have a very difficult time understanding when it's polite to say something. When an Aspie sees an obese person, he thinks nothing of informing that person that she's fat. He also doesn't understand why his statement would cause such a negative reaction. To him, he was simply telling the truth.

Aspies also don't understand "white lies" or why we tell them. Why would I tell my mother that I love the sweater she got me, and then turn around and donate it to Goodwill? (That's just an example. I've never actually done that!) A child with Asperger's Syndrome will be brutally honest upon receiving an undesirable gift, and to say otherwise would be lying.

Double Meanings and Homonyms

Many times, a child with Asperger's Syndrome will have a difficult time understanding that some words have different meanings. For instance, my son's face was red from playing outside, and I told him his face was flushed. He couldn't understand how his face could be flushed like a toilet.

A good example of a homonym is to use the word "bow". You could mean a violin bow, a ribbon tied into a bow, a bow and arrow. Same spelling, but a different pronunciation is the bow of the ship or bowing from the waist. Same pronunciations, but different spellings are a bough from a tree or a beau. Confusing, isn't it? Imagine how confusing it is to a child with Asperger's Syndrome!

Advice to Parents of Children with Asperger's Syndrome

Please keep in mind that your Aspie is very literal, and therefore, when speaking to him, you must be very literal. Since an Aspie can't insinuate your meaning, then say what you mean. If you mean "it's raining hard," then don't say "it's raining cats and dogs".

Be patient and teach your Aspie the things we take for granted. Explain to him that telling the overweight woman she's fat will hurt her feelings. Tell your child with Asperger's Syndrome that even if he doesn't like a gift, then all he needs to say is "thank you".

It's very frustrating to a child with Asperger's Syndrome to have to figure things out all the time.