Associatedcontent & I

Ladies and gentleman,

Now that the year is almost up, I would like to send it off with a thorough evaluation for general clarification. My days as Content Producer on AC might be numbered. There might be somebody out there looking for excuse to kick me off. Or maybe club me over the head with my own words. That would work nicely. Would you like to pull my finger? Meanwhile, I'm just trying to pinpoint the best moment to resign, which would be right before getting fired. Or in this case: banned. It would be my first time! At least I won't have to fly from the country. Don't take out the tar and feathers just yet. Can I please explain? I'm not really surprised. So here's what I've gotta say, and that's all I'm gonna say about that. And that's it. What it is. You pulled my finger.

Now, without any further ado: let's set this process of reflection into motion and get off on the hard foot, shall we?

Do I have any regrets?

"A funny thing about regret son, is that you always regret the things you didn't do, not the things you did do." Who said that. That's a load of crap. Or is it? O I don't know. Go find out for yourself. Starting on AC, I did get to regret submitting the first and fourth pieces a bit too early. Residing on the bottom of my CP page, they are incomplete, and thus to my own personal disgrace. I requested and submitted re-edits, mainly corrective and complementary, but I was denied the right.

What I didn't do, was an interview I'd like to have done with promovendus Wim Peeters. He got a university chair of the subject Bullshit this year. I asked and got his consent, but to cut a long story short, I was appropriately left empty handed. I suggested Bullshit as a conversation topic to the first CP who connected with me on AC. But I don't think he took it seriously. However, it would have been something like this:

Q: "What is bullshit?"A: "No comment."

Q: "Aaww, that's bullshit, man! That's some bullshit! That's bullshit if I ever saw bullshit. All right, you got me." A: "Yes, well excuse my attempt at being drole, but I just had to make the point. Bullshit is actually the garbage of language. It's the noise which makes communication bearable. It could also be called the lubrication of language."

Q: "Are you now a supreme authority in determining what is bullshit?" A: "Well, I know a lot about bullshit yes. I could tell you a lot of bullshit, but you must decide for yourself whether or not you think it is bullshit. Maybe it's good bullshit. Maybe it's bad."

Q: "Is there a lot of bullshit going round?" A: "A lot, surely. The world is running on bullshit, more than anything."

Q: "Has it always been this way?" A: "I'd say, absolutely speaking no. But relatively speaking, yes probably."

Q: "Is it possible to not be able to bullshit?" A: "Well, it's not possible to make completely sense. You know, like 100%. So I would hypothesize that it's equally impossible to make absolutely no sense at all."

Too bad. It would have made a nice interview. It's all very fitting.

The bottom line

No piece of mine was linked on the International Movie Database.com,

but Imdb in it's place has now completely fallen from my grace.

Having seen The Dark Knight, I'm relieved to say: what's new.

Don't believe the hype, or the joke will truly be on you.

The shroom was banned as of December 1^st last,

and coffeeshops could well become a thing of the past.

I received no reply from mister Tsvangirai.

In these times of democratic celebrations,

I intended not to disturb the sovereignty of nations.

Is the new administration not at your convenience,

the political constellation wasn't affected by my interference.

In trying to rid me of my perpetual mannerisms,

who would like to share with me a laugh at silly Dutchisms?

Since we're busy sharing anyway, I might as well enlighten and give you head's up:

"I don't wish to be rude, but you've got great breasts! Let's think ahead, or we'll just be messing about. Did I expose myself? Well, I hope that gets your spirit up. Now that the monkey's out of the bag, don't make something out of nothing. Things are going great! When you get frustrated, that will get you nowhere. But now I must withdraw before ejaculation, or we'll pay for it! I don't want to suffer. Just give it up, already."

Do I like Associatedcontent?

That's a good question, if I may say so. Obviously, I support any such a grand-scale 'civic journalistic' initiative. I don't even care whether it's commercial or not. But I did not come here for social networking purposes. So I find myself in a constant state of flux regarding AC, which could also be described as a love-hate relationship. I've been on the fence ever since I stumbled on here, and I'm still wondering if and how to proceed.

First off: how do I declare those $2,- I earned tax-wise? That's the money side and I would just as well let everybody enjoy my phantasms for free. Keep it simple. To me, my CP page is an online portfolio anyway, more than anything else. Also useful for soliciting. So I would prefer to have those pageviews, but AC might just as well give my proceedings to a good cause (but only after conferring with me, of course).

But seriously, I did bring this social networking on myself. You see, besides writing I also like to read other people's stuff. From millions of texts I select those that catch my eye for some reason. From this selection I select the stuff that I'm actually going to read. And when I find the read interesting enough, I will comment. I like to comment. I can't keep my big mouth shut.

Every time you put out a comment, you put out a link to your own CP page. I do like the implicit attracting of attention, rather than the explicit. Spreading around my supposedly witticisms, I reckon I got about a 10% return response rate. Well, I'm not supposed to be very hospitable anyhow. However, rating the works of others I do not do. Who am I to judge? I do not rate. I do find myself commenting on CP's who don't cherish the same ideas as me though. One time another CP removed one of my comments. I wrote her a message: "Removing my comments only proves my point. Thanx." And I rated her piece a one star.

Most upsetting to me somehow, was when I got favorited myself the first time. What to do? Must I now favorite straight back? What are the unwritten rules involved here? And should I obey them? Are there many question marks in my writing? Hey, I'm no nepotist! I have no friends! I'm the Ultra-Individualist, my own living legend. I'm my own man. I wouldn't want to be saying "Fuck everybody!", but oops there it is: Fuck everybody!

It's nothing personal. So how to keep track of tens of CP's who favorited you and whom you favorited? Hundreds of CP's even. Ha! To reach that clout level 10... No, there's something else going on here. And I have a smoldering suspicion that it hasn't so much to do with the intrinsic quality of writing. It might have something to do with the forums, in which I don't participate. I also don't rss, digg, or put many links out whatsoever. Those things were more of a future option to me all this time, like submitting video or audio. Self-promoting is not my thing. I guess I'm more of a self-presenter. Still, I can understand the AC staff operating to aim for the highest level of exposure as possible. But is there an AC staff member appointed to read for sheer quality writing? I don't know and I'm not asking. You know, I'm not even asking what's going on here. Because I usually turn away when it stinks.

My current top 3 favorite CP's

1. Gary "the G-man" Toms

2. cahotek

3. Glennb

i am a native european dutch to be precise where the party at a little upfront upstart i dont like to compromise did i say that america aint shit cos the white mans got a god complex were not actually my words but i do like to add a bit a context spreading the word communist a bit too liberal socialistic intercourse supposed to be not very civil dont be so wise this just exercise i dont like rap music i like black music ruff n tuff just face it im a racist can you stand it the way i planned it i thank you candid you know what they say democracy all the way congratulations on your choice its time for a new voice!

Solologues

Speaking with the double the triple tongue,

Just a wickedly witty bit of writing all along.

This mighty mind might be either very slick or very sick,

Coming on too strong won't make it very long.

Only content can make me content,

That's not saying it always does.

But no matter how you comment,

Things must remain fun, as the saying goes.

All in all, they keep on remaining to be seen,

If you understand what I mean.

Throwing words in a great big nothing.

Writing is masturbation, who wants some.

Take my vocabulary for what you will.

Trip on my cerebration, watch me come.

Put it together, hold it out to see.

Show sincere interest, and we'll connect maybe.

So are you my kind?

Did I blow your mind?

What a show.

Please don't go.

Wherever one thing is true,

Uncountable lies will pop up too.

All good things will come to be,

Come to pass, wait and see.

Don't bother each other.

Beware to be eager.

And yes ladies and gentlemen, this is my true name, my one and only. Come on and say it. Just-try-and-say-the-word.

Happy New Year, everybody!

Next up: How to become a successful CP on AC.

("Yeah great whatever. Huh? No I don't want to talk to anyone right now. They're saying what? Well you can tell them to go kiss my ass. You know, to go lick my balls. To go suck my scrotum so to speak. What? Well excuse me, they are just some silly Dutch expressions we use. Really quite harmless. I mean, you know what? If it's going to be that way, I might as well not speak a single English word ever again! Je kan me wat. Bekijk 't maar. Hallo allemaal!")