Atheist

April Fox
i have kissed the palm of death, devoured its madness, reached down into its guts and yanked out everything vile the years had digested

sorted through empty pill bottles, counting what isn't there, bled ashy onto the dirty floor

pulled my face close and breathed in every wasted stinking second, begged it down into my lungs and held it there, force of habit

and when i breathed out again it stayed with me and laughed at me

refused to let go, wound its gnarly fingers into all my smiling crevices

held the tires firm to the road, bred in me a fear of heights and falling

of pain

whatever god there was up there was laughing at me as he said

even at this, i will make you fail.

Published by April Fox

When she isn't writing for sites like livestrong and typef, April can usually be found with her head in a book, lying in the sun blowing bubbles, or perched near the stage listening to music and trying to av...   View profile

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  • Elena H 1/13/2011

    I agree with Sharon & believe after reading some of your other articles that you are too smart to hold this view forever. God will pursue you until you come to know Him & see that He has created you-loved you-given you talent & gifts-and that He cares about the most minute detail of your life. You are very talented (your articles show it) & though you hint at a difficult young history-God has preserved you so that you have a remarkable wisdom/understanding on life issues & raising children. I also enjoyed your humor.

  • Sharon Pfohl 8/25/2009

    Yes, beautiful but I disagree. He shook his head with a sad smile and said, "Not yet, my dear, not yet. You have too many people to love and too many who love you. You must stay and make them smile." He held you as you cried.

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