Atlanta Braves Sign Actor Charlie Sheen
The star of Hot Shots! and Scary Movie 3, Sheen is no stranger to the game. As a boy, he played in Little League. As an adult, he participated in a Celebrity All-Star Game at Dodger Stadium in 1986. And in 1996, he took batting practice with the Seattle Mariners before a game. However, it was his work in three baseball-based films - Major League, Major League II, and Eight Men Out - that caught the eye of the Atlanta Braves.
"In those movies, Charlie proved he had a real talent for the game," said Executive Vice President and General Manager John Schuerholz. "At one point in Major League, he was throwing 101 MPH. That's what we need right now - someone who can come in and get strikeouts."
"I like his gutsy attitude," said Manager Bobby Cox. "In Major League II, when he intentionally walked that guy just so he could face the other team's best hitter, I got goosebumps. He didn't give a crap."
The signing has not been without its critics. ESPN's Peter Gammons called the move "the stupidest thing" he had ever heard. USA Today's Bob Nightengale asked, "have the Braves lost their minds?" Sports Illustrated's Tom Verducci called it, "worse than any move the Tampa Bay Devil Rays have ever made." And The Sporting News' Ken Rosenthal asked incredulously, "they do realize those were movies and he wasn't really throwing that hard, right?!"
However, after fifteen years of unmatched success, the Braves feel they have earned the benefit of the doubt.
"There will always be critics," said Schuerholz. "Frankly, I don't understand how anyone could have seen Charlie Sheen in those movies and yet question the wisdom in our signing him. What movies were they watching? The man was throwing freakin' 101 MPH!"
Sheen, currently starring in CBS's hit comedy Two and a Half Men, is excited about the opportunity. "To be honest, excited isn't the right word. I'm shocked. I mean, I'm 40 years old. I've never played professional ball. I'm an actor. But, come on, how could I say no?"
Even with Sheen in the fold, Schuerholz is determined not to rest on his laurels.
"Our scouts tell us Kevin Costner is quite the athlete."
Published by KJD
What do you get when you combine a dry sense of humor with a love of sports, web design, pop culture and personal finance? No, seriously. I'm asking. View profile
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11 Comments
Post a CommentThe Braves have also looked at Dennis Quaid. He threw pretty good in "the Rookie". They've also looked into That 40-something year old dude that pitched for the Bronx in the Little League World Series that year.
Thanks, everyone. If you liked this one, chances are you'll like my latest fake sports article: "Braves Put Down Pitcher Mark Redman, Tell Players He Went to Live on Farm." I apologize if any members of Mark Redman's family read this.
LOL Great stuff here - Mr. Sheen does deliver doesn't he?
I gave this five stars!
Funny stuff.
Maybe next they can sign Willie Mays Hayes.
Too Funny
I get it. LOL!
I guess stranger things have happened... Look at Arnold Schwarzenegger!
Thanks! Wow, they made this a featured article? I guess I've found the secret to success here at Associated Content: Charlie Sheen. Associated Content loves Charlie Sheen.