Atlanta's Athletic Apathy

"The City Too Busy to Hate."

Ah, the many romantic images that come to mind:

Number 715 sailing into the April night sky back in 1974.

Dominique Wilkins, AKA: The NBA's "Human Highlight Reel" going up for a spectacular dunk.

100 MPH maniacs on the 285 bypass.

Endless construction.

Some old fool named Grady coming up to you on Peachtree St. asking if he can "hold a dollar?"

And of course, the raucous naps that the faithful Braves fans take.

But of course, Atlanta fans across the board have never been known as a rowdy bunch. During one football game at old Fulton County Stadium, Saints quarterback Bobby Hebert had to hush the New Orleans faithful so he could call a play.

The Atlanta Flames of the NHL played 8 seasons in Atlanta and made the playoffs seven times, yet still could not draw a fan base, causing a move to Calgary.

During the 2003 NL Division Series, so many Cub fans showed up at Turner Field, that it took on the moniker "Wrigley Field South."

Ah yes, Turner Field, known in baseball circles as the "World's Longest Moment of Silence."

Why are Atlanta fans so blase' across the board?

You could blame the food. Atlanta is brimming with take-out joints. All that fat and cholesterol can make you loagy.

Then again, it could be the traffic.

Pitcher Pascual Perez once got lost on the 285 bypass on his way to a start for the Braves, earning him the nickname "The 285 Kid."

Then again, it could just be the team names themselves.

Take for instance the Flames.

In the 1970s, your average Southerner knew about as much about ice hockey as your average Dodger fan knows about staying until the end of the game. There were a lot of Northern transplants, but their hockey loyalties lay elsewhere. Ice Hockey was a curiosity, and did spread to smaller Southern towns. Macon, GA's hockey team from that era holds the distinction of having one of the best pro sports names ever: The Macon Whoopees, (you have to say it out loud).

But hockey was not going to be big in Dixie: strike one.

Also, there were few if any Southern hockey players. Most were Canadian guys named "Guy." Southerners just couldn't relate. Strike Two.

The last straw: The NHL, a Northern entity, putting "Flames" in Atlanta.

Can you say "Someone obviously missed the chapter on the Civil War and General Sherman while in grade school?"

You may as well try setting up a pork sausage stand in downtown Tehran.

Strike Three. The Flames did go on to find a warmer welcome North of the Border in Calgary, where they've won a Stanley Cup Championship. Atlanta has also given the NHL a second try with the establishment of the Thrashers. Maybe there's still hope for hockey in NASCAR-land. But don't count on it.

...And then there's the Falcons.

First off, the name is ripe with possibilities for ridicule. "Fall-cons" "Foul-cons" and "Fool-cons" are my personal favorites.

In case you are wondering, the Falcons took their name not from the bird of prey, but from a car. A lady who worked at a Ford Falcon plant near Atlanta came up with the name. The plant closed long ago, and we're stuck with this name. Such things have a way of happening in the South.

Other NFL teams have names that reflect something of the city's or the area's history or personality. Pittsburgh has the Steelers. Philadelphia (Where the US was born), the Eagles. Dallas, the Cowboys, Houston the Oilers then the Texans. Minnesota (home to many Scandinavian descendants), the Vikings. New England has the Patriots. San Francisco, the 49ers.

Atlanta, like the rest of the South, has had to redefine itself in the wake of convulsive changes. So much so, that Atlanta doesn't really have a sense of itself anymore. So, we're stuck with names that are void of nuance and personality, sort of like how the Falcons themselves are void of a passing game.

It also doesn't help matters that the Falcons have traditionally sucked either.

But what about the Hawks? In the 1980s,the Hawks were one of the NBA's best teams. The Hawks' marquee player, Dominique Wilkins, was one of the game'slegitimate superstars. Unfortunately, these Hawks had the misfortune of playing in the same division as Larry Bird's Celtics, Isaiah Thomas'Pistons,and Michael Jordan's Bulls. Had they made it through those teams to the finals, Magic Johnson's Lakers would have awaited them. Talk about peaking at the wrong time! Since then, most Atlantans have simply forgotten about the Hawks.

And then there's the Braves. In 1991, Atlanta went bonkers for the "Worst to First" Braves. By the time the Braves won it all in 1995, becoming the first Atlanta team in a combined 84 seasons to win a major pro championship, the feeling was not so much ecstatic elation as it was "Well, it's about time! Now go win another one!" Since then, Braves fans simply bide their time until the post-season and hope for the best. I they win, great, If not, eh, who cares?

But of course, if it isn't the food, or the roads, or the lousy nicknames, it could just be the city of Atlanta itself. Native Georgians will tell you that "Atlanta ain't Georgia." In other words, it is an abnormality to Georgia and the South. Because of all the changes in Atlanta, including the large influx of non-Southerners, the emergence of Atlanta as a major International metropolis, it is somewhat foreign to outsiders (people who live outside the 285 perimeter). It is a part of us, and we feel a connection, but at the same time, it is someone else's town. Maybe it's a big ditto with Atlanta's teams. Perhaps that is why we are more attached to our college teams than our pro teams. And why we're more attached to other folk's teams than our own...they were never really "ours" to begin with.