AT&T Roadside Assistance and Suzuki Service

I went out at lunch to start the car and the lights in the dash lit up, but the car wouldn't crank. I tried it a few more times and nothing. I thought to myself "Well, it unlocked to let me in." I got out of the car and in what is most likely one of the dumbest moves I have EVER made, I locked the car with the remote and unlocked it with the remote. Then I opened the door. The alarm started chirriping. Well, it tried to chirrip. It was doing more of a "chirp....chirp chirp chirp.....chiiiiiiiiirp, chirp......chirp....chirp" thus sounding like a deranged bird. People were giving me strange looks as they passed in the parking lot. So I got inside the car again. This time the lighs on the dash didn't even try to glow; they gave not even a feeble effort. I thought maybe the battery had died, but we just replaced that battery last August, less than a year ago. I called my mom and told her that something was wrong with her car and that she should find something to eat at work and I'd try to remedy the situation.

I called the Suzuki dealership's service department....they were closed from 12 - 1 every day and it was 12:30. Yikes!

I like to have the peace of mind knowing that in an emergency situation I can make a call and help will be on the way so I pay a monthly fee to my AT&T wireless for roadside assistance. I called them and asked for someone to come jump the car. Then I changed my mind midstream, since the car was chirriping in such a strange, almost psychotic manner. I would rather just have it towed to the dealership. The operator assured me that help was on the way and would be there within 45 minutes. Not desirous of listening to the car's disturbing attemps at communication I went inside to await my knight in blinking lights.

Several gentlemen in my office building (working for a different company) habitually bike during their lunch hour Avid cyclists they. In fact, I suspect that they gleefully ride their cycles in the hallways when no one is watching. They're always friendly and chat with me in passing. Two of them stuck their heads in the door of my office to inform me that my car was making obscene comments to them as they came in. Actually, they just said "Your car is making some strange noise", but I'm sure the car was yelling at them because they didn't stop to help it. I laughed and told them, "Yes, I know. Help is on the way!"

In half an hour the tow truck had arrived and the driver was loading the car onto the truck. He was quite amused at the sounds it was making. By now it was chirping full force rhythmically and regularly. Another guy from another office pointed at the car and made faces so I shrugged and covered my face in mock shame. I think I detected the car growing louder and more insistent at that point.

On the road inside the tow truck the driver told me of similar situations hauling a car with the alarm blaring. He said that people always stare at you in suspicion. I avoided looking at the cars passing. The car made itself known despite the roar of the truck.

When we arrived at the Suzuki service department I hopped out of the tow truck and left the driver to position the car wherever the mechanics told him. The attendant at the desk informed me that they wouldn't be able to look at the car till Monday (this was Thursday). I told him that I had no other form of transportation and that if it was just the battery I could call a friend to come pick me up to go get a battery. Just as I was about to have a meltdown one of the mechanics walked in. He asked me what happened and took my key and said they'd look at it right away. I heard one mechanic say to the others as the car was being moved into one of the bays "Man, that's annoying!" The car's diabolical yelling had worked. Moments later there was silence, blessed, glorious silence.

The attendant said to me a few minutes later that it looked like it was indeed the battery and that he was calling their parts supply to bring a new one. "They usually don't take long so you shouldn't need to wait long" he told me.

An hour later the battery hadn't arrived and he called. It was almost there.

The battery arrived. It was the wrong battery. The attendant called the parts house again and told them to send the right one this time. I couldn't help but laugh since the entire afternoon had turned into a zany farce.

An hour later the attendant said to me "I don't know what's taking so long again. They usually are very quick to deliver." Moments later the phone rang. The delivery man had been in a wreck on his way to deliver the second battery. What else could happen. I felt like I was in one of Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events. I checked around for hidden cameras. Maybe I was being punked or Candid Camera was up to its usual antics. No camera, no sneaky show hosts, no such luck. I could do nothing but laugh and shake my head. Lemonade is a mighty refreshing drink.

The attendant sent someone from the service department to meet that poor parts delivery guy at the Pharmacy where he was waiting for his tow truck. I don't believe he was injured. The correct battery finally arrived with no further assistance from tow truck drivers and was installed in the car at no charge to me since the old one had a bad cell and had been installed by that service department less than a year ago. The car voiced its opinion in silence as I left the dealership after a most auspicious four hours. I think the car is still quite pleased. It hasn't hissed or chirped threateningly. So far I've only heard the happy "I'm locked so you can rest at ease" chirp.

AT&T Roadside Assistance was very helpful and fast in service and the Suzuki dealership was very kind and helpful.

An afternoon of dreanged cars, roadside assistance, tow trucks, helpful attendants and wayward batteries proved to be highly entertaining.