Attachment Parenting
Responding to Your Baby's Cues
Attachment Parenting is a term coined by world famous pediatrician, Dr. William Sears. Basically, it is a parenting philosophy of nurturing and responding to your baby. This involves both mental and physical closeness to your child at all times (hence the "attachment" part). A Google search for "Dr. Sears" or "Attachment Parenting" will reveal quite a large subculture of AP-related sites, books, and products (such as baby slings and bedside co-sleepers).
A mother-to-be would really benefit from looking into this subject. Yes, mothering and nurturing come naturally, but modern society influences us to ignore some of these natural instincts. For example: it is a modern, western practice to place baby in his own bed, in his own room, far away from parents so they can get a long night's sleep. AP submits that this is a selfish arrangement on the parents' behalf.
Little did I know, until my son was a few months old, that I was a practicing Attachment Parent! I had never even heard of AP before...just thought I was overprotective. Or, at least, that's what people had convinced me of. They told me I was holding him too much, picking him up too quickly when he cries, that I should nurse on a schedule, and that I should never share a bed with him! I ignored these comments, as I was only doing what felt natural to me.
"Crying it out" is a phrase we will never use in our house. I felt so lucky to discover Dr. Sears' information on responding to your baby's cues. I now know there are many of us out there. My son and I are inseparable and I wouldn't have it any other way. So many people comment on how healthy he looks, how well mannered he is for an infant, and I really feel it's due to AP.
The 8 ideals of Dr. Sears' Attachment Parenting:
Preparation for Childbirth
Emotional Responsiveness
Breastfeed your Baby
Baby Wearing
Shared sleep and Safe Sleeping Guidelines
Avoid frequent and prolonged separations from your baby
Positive Discipline
Maintain balance in your family life
Published by Dinah Laurel
Dinah Laurel is a freelance writer who specializes in online content development. View profile
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- Dr. Sears' Website: www.askdrsears.com
- Attachment Parenting is a term coined by world famous pediatrician, Dr. William Sears.
- Basically, it is a parenting philosophy of nurturing and responding to your baby.
- Little did I know, until my son was a few months old, that I was a practicing Attachment Parent!
6 Comments
Post a CommentBefore I became a parent I too thought that AP was a bit 'extreme', but after reading Sears' work and seeing how naturally this type of parenting came to me, I am completely 'sold'. It's really saddening to me that so many parents feel pressured to distance their children from them at an early age, before they are ready. Independence comes gradually and in the meantime, babies need our love and support. 'Wearing' one's baby, breastfeeding and co-sleeping are just some of the ways AP manifests and not, as Sarah Dickinson pointed out, 'must do's. AP encourages parents to find their own way, based on their individual child, and gives them permission to follow their instincts to be close to them. This is the way parents have done it for thousands of years and continue to do so in many, many cultures. It's a pity that people are often so ignorant of that fact. Articles like these will hopefully serve to inform, though I suspect it's a case of preaching to the converted!
It was in my nature to AP parent-- but I did find Dr.Sears very helpful in making me feel "normal" when almost everyone else didn't. I think it really comes down to listening to yourself and your personality (if you hate sharing a bed with your infant- so be it, no one will enjoy the sleep) and of course your baby- that's why you carry them for 9+ months so you can bond before they come out screaming... lol
Great article-- I'm planning to write on this topic (just need to find a new perspective) since its definitely a passion of mine as well.
I agree with you, I ALWAYS get comments about how great my kids are (and I think my parenting has a LOT to do with it.) THX!
Both my babies are contented, well-loved, gently parented children. My older daughter graduated into her own bed when she felt like it, and hasn't wanted to be in with me since she turned two. Why must everything be a struggle? You don't have to set up conflict. Just keep on responding and find your own way. :)
I know many children who have graduated happily into their own beds - and nobody anywhere who anybody should pay attention to has said that it is a selfish act not to carry your baby 24/7 or co-sleep. Dr Sears is the public face of a large and well respected body of research and theory, which emphasises the importance of strong and healthy attachment in early childhood. Attachment Theory as first developed by John Bowlby is the basis for most current thought in child psychology and therapy. The 'ideals' are just that - things to aspire to, or to try out. There is no need to tick all the boxes to get a special 'AP' badge - and please note the last ideal: 'balance'. I find it interesting how challenging people find even a brief precis of this approach, and how angry it makes people.
I feel sorry for you when you do eventually have to put your child in his/her own bed. I think that it's pretty ignorant to say that it's an selfish act not to carry your baby 24/7 or allow him/her to sleep with you!!!!!! Dr. Sears is a freak and manipulates first time mothers!!!!!!!
Thanks for sharing this info!