Attachment Parenting Today

Attachment parenting is a term first coined by Dr. Bill Sears. It is at heart the idea that parents (and in particular mothers) care for their baby in such a way as to create a strong bond with the baby. The parents should be responsive to the baby's cries so that the baby learns its needs will be met. Through attachment parenting parents become very in tune with their baby.

So how do you attach to your baby? The simple answer is to literally attach the baby to you. There are 3 important attachment parenting tools for doing that - babywearing, breastfeeding, and co-sleeping.

Babywearing allows the baby to smell that a parent is with them, to feel that parent's heartbeat and warmth, and to hear the parent's voice. For the parent it allows you to learn the baby's signals for hunger or other needs and provides ample opportunity for psychological attachment to your baby. When you look down at an infant sleeping in a sling or wrap on your chest you feel an instant surge of love for this tiny person. Babywearing can be very helpful in today's busy world as well. It gives a parent time to fix dinner or straighten up the house while holding the baby.

Breastfeeding has a wide range of benefits and one attachment parenting benefit is that it helps to create a strong bond between mother and baby. Watching your infant drift off to sleep while nursing is an incredible moment. Breastfeeding has physiological effects to increase attachment too. Breastfeeding causes an increase in the hormones oxytocin and prolactin which are the "mothering" hormones. These hormones help a mother to have more "motherly" feelings and frequent breastfeeding helps to keep them at high levels. For attachment parenting moms who work out of the home breastfeeding in the evenings and at night provides an important time to re-connect with the baby after being separated during the day.

Co-sleeping is especially helping for attachment parenting in today's busy world. Co-sleeping helps your baby to learn that bedtime is safe because he or she won't be alone. Co-sleeping also allows for easy nursing at night. For attachment parenting working moms (and dads) co-sleeping also gives another important touchpoint during those nighttime hours together.

So if the simple answer to attachment parenting is to literally attach yourself to the baby what is the more complex answer? Be responsive to your baby. Babies' cries mean something. You cannot spoil a baby. You can teach your baby that your will try to meet his or her needs. And for a baby everything is a need from hunger to a diaper change to a simple cuddle. And by being responsive you will learn the signs that come before crying. You will learn to communicate with your baby and this communication will help you to stay attached to your baby in today's busy world.