Attachment Theory Applied to Adult Relationship: Examining Attachment Styles in Partner Relationships

John Bowlby's theory of attachment addresses the importance of the bonds formed between infants and caregivers. It has been thought that these bonds can be comparable to that of the attachments formed in adult relationships. In other words, in both types of relationships, the person wants to be comforted and protected by the partner (or caregiver), and may protest when there is a change and he or she may become unavailable (Feeney, 1999). Bowlby also said that people build up certain expectations of attachment figures which are used to create an internal working model. This model can then guide people in future relationships and play an important role throughout the lifecycle.

One of the most common ways to look at attachment in adults is by using the Adult Attachment Interview (AAI). By using this interview, many researchers have been able to not only investigate attachment in adults individually, but also how this attachment applies to romantic relationships. Feeney (1999) cites several studies finding that the three major attachment styles found in infancy (secure, avoidant, and ambivalent) have also been found in adults. She also describes the work of Bartholomew who defines a four group model of attachment divided into secure and insecure groups. Three of the four groups are considered insecure: the dismissing group, the fearful group, and the preoccupied group. Although the fearful group is not used as frequently in research, this classification system has become another way to examine adult attachment. For example, on the AAI, individuals that are classified as secure show reflective thinking and speaking about parent-child relationships. They can think of specific memories and tend to value early attachment relationships (Fisher & Crondell, 2001).

These people are inclined to remember their parents as affectionate, have fewer self-doubts, are generally liked by others, and think of others as more trustworthy and good. They desire intimate relationships and a balance of autonomy and closeness, in addition to having the ability to acknowledge distress and deal with negative affect in a constructive way. Secure attachment has also been linked to greater levels of commitment, trust, interdependence and satisfaction (Feeney, 1999).
They AAI has also shown some consistencies within the other groups. For example, dismissing individuals have a harder time remembering, show restricted affect, and tend to devalue attachment (Fisher & Crondell, 2001). Avoidant (similar to dismissing) adults may remember their mother as rejecting and cold. They may be suspicious of others, may lack self-confidence socially, and may not be very interpersonal. They need to keep distance and limit closeness in order to retain their self needs of autonomy. There is a great emphasis on goals (e.g. achievement) and they deal with distress by cutting off anger and withholding intimate disclosure (Feeney, 1999). Pre-occupied individuals tend to be flooded with the negative content of their memories and may show anger (Fisher & Crondell, 2001). Ambivalent (similar to pre-occupied) adults tend to remember their fathers as being unfair and may find other people difficult to understand. They may want extreme intimacy and less autonomy. They also may fear rejection, show greater distress and anger, and may be compliant in order to be accepted by others (Feeney, 1999).

How do all these concepts of the individual come into play within the framework of a romantic relationship? Some of the most important aspects of a relationship are commitment, affection, dependence, closeness, and openness (Feeney, 1999). These are characteristics first developed in the infant-caregiver bond, used to develop internal working models, and then used to influence future relationships. For example, people may tend to go to places or environments that fit into their beliefs of self and other. Although this is true, the internal working models may also be reversed, or changed, throughout life based on the experiences within other intimate relationships. This change can depend on the experience in the new relationship, in addition to the attachment style of the partner (Feeney, 1999). Therefore, attachment styles can not only change throughout the lifespan, but can also change within the framework of a specific romantic relationship.

Feeney (1999) describes several studies which demonstrate different aspects of relationships and attachment. For example, Levy & Davis (1988) found results that support the link between better relationships and secure attachment. Also, Feeney & Noller (1991) found that secure subjects tended to report mutual support of the partner and wanted a balance in they way they depended on each other. Avoidant subjects wanted clear limits, while ambivalent subjects wanted unqualified limits. Also, with regard to negative feelings about the relationship, secure subjects would be expected to handle negative feelings in a somewhat constructive ways. Avoidant subjects may be more likely to restrict these feelings and learn self-reliance to reduce conflict, while ambivalent people may show a greater expression of these negative emotions to keep contact with inconsistent caregivers (as cited in Feeney, 1999).

Fisher & Crondell (2001) more closely examine the relationships of couples with different attachment styles. They report that secure couples are able to shift more freely between dependence on each other (interdependence). They are better able to appreciate their partner's thoughts and feelings, show open expressions of their need for comfort and contact, and be receptive of their partner's needs. There is symmetry in the individual as well as in the system of the relationships. Insecure couples lack mutuality and flexibility, and there is less of an awareness of the other's experience. Couples with two insecure partners may tend to show more negativity and conflict, greater difficulty regulating affect, and less constructive communication.

These researchers then continued to observe specific attachment style combinations in insecure relationships. In relationships with two dismissing individuals, the partners may both be "hyper-independent," meaning that the couple cannot depend on each other. They may appear to function smoothly until the dependency issue gets in the way. In a relationship with two preoccupied individuals there maybe a "perpetual feeling of deprivation and a complimentary conviction that the other can never satiate the need for comfort (23)." There may also be a high level of open disagreements and conflicts. Couples with one pre-occupied and one dismissing partner may be more likely to seek therapy than other couples. In this case, the pre-occupied person would most likely be displaying the discontent with the relationship and the dismissing person would believe that the only problem in the relationship is their partner's unhappiness. In addition, Feeney (1999) cites that relationships with ambivalent females and avoidant males may tend be stable.

It appears from the research that attachment theory can be a useful tool not only in looking at infant-parent relationships, but also looking at adult partner relationships.

References

Feeney, J.A. (1999). Adult romantic attachment and couple relationships. In J. Cassidy &
P.R. Shaver (Eds.) Handbook of Attachment: Theory, Research, and Clinical Applications (pp. 355 - 377). New York, NY: The Guilford Press.

Fisher, J. & Crondell, L. (2001). Patterns of relating in the couple. In C.F. Clulow (Ed)
Adult Attachment and Couple Psychotherapy: The "Secure Base" in Practice and Research (pp. 15-27). London: Philadelphia Routledge.