Attention Young Brides: How to Make Sure You Have a Choice to Be a SAHM

For most women, being a stay at home mother (SAHM) would be a dream come true. Some lucky moms have a choice and can easily leave their jobs to stay home and raise their kids. As a working mother who is looking back on my pre-childbirth cluelessness, I know that your kids make a much better boss than the boss you have when you go to work. Your kids can't fire you if you don't feel like taking them to the park one day, or if you take a little nap while they are napping.

Being able to have the luxury of making this choice takes careful planning on the mother's or wife's part. You're extra lucky if your husband declares that you will stay home with the kids. Unfortunately, many husbands nowadays don't care one way or the other, or they really like having your salary added to your joint bank account, so it's up to you, Mom, to ensure that this choice is yours.

You must first think about your choice to stay home with the kids before you are even married. If possible, you can choose a career that allows you to have the same vacations as your kids (most likely a preschool teacher or grade/high school teacher).

You can always choose a low paying career. Having a low paying job ensures that your salary doesn't make too much of a difference in the household income. If you were to have kids, you wouldn't earn enough to cover the cost of daycare or a nanny.

Most mothers who work do so to help with the mortgage or rent payments. In this situation, hindsight is 20/20. The time period in which you are getting married is when you will make the choices about where you are going to live and if you are going to purchase a house or rent. This is where you must think ahead to your choice of being a stay at home mother.

However, if your fiancé is like most men, it has taken way too long to get him to propose to you. When you finally get the ring, you don't want to kill the wedding planning bliss by taking about your future kids and how you are going to stay home with them and not work.

To this dilemma, I have two solutions. The first is to make your SAHM wishes known to him and risk an argument or two. If you have a strong relationship, you will still get married. However, you will both be on the same page in regards to your future family arrangements and will be more likely to achieve your goals.

The other solution to this, if you don't want to bring up the subject of children, is to steer your housing choice to a city/state/region that has affordable housing. Ultimately, you have to make sure that your monthly housing payment, whether it is rent or a mortgage, can be completely paid, with money left over for other expenses, with the paycheck of your fiancé or husband.

You must make it your priority to make this happen with your housing choice. With the rent/mortgage easily being paid with your husband's salary, this frees you up to choose the life of a stay at home mother. The key word here is choice. It's nice to be able to have this choice. Of course, you may have a satisfying career and a handsome paycheck and wish to continue working after you have children.

The last tip for ensuring your SAHM option is very obvious and a little pretentious. This entire discussion would be meaningless if you married a rich man. Marrying a rich man is much easier said than done. There are no guarantees that the man you fall in love with will be rich, or that you will love a rich man who falls for you.