Attitude and Beauty in Women

Anybody out there will tell you that attractiveness is not all about looks. Most of the people who will be quick to tell you this, however, won't be men. Well, whether men are quick to detect their attractions or not, this is a truth above all truths. There are women out there who will consistently get the guy, and (bombshells of the world, watch out!) they're almost never the most physically beautiful ones. It is just a fact of life. Even for men, lasting beauty has a lot more to do with attitude, body language, linguistic behavior and intelligence than it does with physical perfection. Not that we guys won't look at a beautiful lady walking down the street (the lower ranks of us will even cat call or whistle at her) but they aren't the only girls we notice. Having known many, many women in my 50+ years, I'm adequately prepared to offer some insight on what makes the less "perfect" women much more attractive than the runway models of the world.

The number one most attractive thing about a woman is her attitude. Forget the perfect body. If a woman has a frown on her face constantly, complains about everything and simply cannot be seen in a Wal-Mart (goodness forbid we do a little bargain shopping), it makes her about as attractive as a manhole cover. Which is to say, not at all. One of my wife's best friends, for example, is a woman whose body is closer to what I'd call "rubenesque" and god help her if she isn't one of the most attractive women I've ever met, based solely on her attitude. When she laughs, her whole face laughs. She smiles and her eyes twinkle. She doesn't use profanity (just because that's her style), she shops at Good Will because "it's fun" and she's the kind of person that you just want to hug every time you see her. How beautiful is that?

The second thing that makes a woman attractive is her body language. Carry yourself like you mean it ladies! You are only (I repeat, only) unlovable if you consistently portray yourself as such. Stop slumping your shoulders against the world, stop lowering your eyes to the ground when spoken to and for gosh's sake, stop acting like everything we men do is done to hurt you. I used to think that perhaps I was doing something wrong (being too gregarious, maybe?) when women acted this way or that (poor things) they'd been beaten into submission by some jerk before me. Sometimes this is the case, and there are professionals to help people get past that sort of thing. But for me, if a woman walks my way with a swanky "I'm here. I own the place. I'm wonderful" kind of walk, and has no problem being unguarded and open with me, I'm going to pay attention. A lady who acts like she's a sweetheart probably really is a sweetheart. There used to be a woman who worked in the same office that I do. She wasn't perfect, and we never had a sexual relationship of any kind, but she and I had a rapport to the extent that all she had to do was walk by my office and smile or laugh and I was instantly in a better mood. What can I say? With an attitude like that, who wouldn't be smitten?

The third thing that makes a woman gorgeous is her linguistic behavior. In other words, how she uses the language she grew up speaking. I don't mean to say that a woman who uses imperfect grammar is unattractive, because that's missing the point. What I am aiming at here, is whether or not she speaks crudely (for example, does she use every curse word ever spoken?). A woman who cusses once in a while is cute or at least acceptable (and the same goes, I'm sure for the attractiveness of men, though I wouldn't know, because I don't lean that way). A woman who curses every time she opens her mouth is not a lady. That's just the way it is. Cursing that much is about as feminine as .. as... well it just isn't feminine. There is a lady I know who has a habit of saying "goodness" or "gosh" a lot and I'm telling you, it's completely adorable. I love it and love the ladylike roundness to those words, rather than the sharp, piercing nature of other, less choice phrases.

The fourth and last thing that makes a woman infinitely attractive to us men is (drum roll please) her brains. A woman's intelligence (my wife calls it "a propensity for being a plethora of useless information" - and she has it - and I love it) is hugely attractive. You want to sit down and tell me the ins and outs of rewiring a stereo? I'll listen, rapt. Talk to me about how to sail a boat properly? I'll soak up the information and adore you for it. You don't need to talk down to me, (that's not particularly sexy either) but for heaven's sake don't talk up to me either. I think a woman's desire to learn new things, to educate herself (or to educate me) on a subject or culture that I know nothing or only a little about is absolutely sexy in a way that no playboy bunny could ever be.

So please, ladies, stop complaining about how you weigh a little more than that girl on television and just give yourself a little tweak here and there in the above departments. Physically, chances are, you don't need to change a bit.