Aunt Lottie in the Hospital

As I walked down the long hall toward Room 224, I heard the familiar voice of Aunt Lottie screaming at someone in her room. "What's the matter with you people? Get out of here! I swear, you're like a bunch of vampires or something."

As I entered the room, I saw an exasperated young woman attempting to get Aunt Lottie to hold her arm still so she could draw some blood. As I approached the bed, Aunt Lottie let out a bellow, "Thank goodness, Pat gal, get this creature off me. She's been poking me every time I turn around."

"Just hold still and give her a second, Aunt Lottie, and I'm sure she'll get what she needs and leave." I walked around to the other side of the bed and tried to divert her attention long enough for the woman to do her job. "You know, she has to earn her pay, too," I laughed.

"These people couldn't possibly need all this blood. They've been in here worrying me every since I got here. Don't know how a body's supposed to get any rest around here with them coming in here day and night." The young woman finished and threw me an appreciative look as she left. "Sit down, gal, and tell me something good. How'd you know I was in here anyway?"

"Fred called. He told me you fell off a ladder. What were you doing on a ladder?"

"I wasn't up on a ladder. I fell off a chair. That man couldn't get a story right if you paid him."

"Well, why were you up on a chair? You should have called me, and I would have come over and helped you. It's probably not a good idea for someone your age to be climbing up on chairs."

"What's that supposed to mean? Girl, I've been doing for myself longer than you've seen daylight. Don't be telling me what I ought to do."

"Sorry, Aunt Lottie. I didn't mean anything. I know you can do anything you want. Tell me what happened."

"It was all Fred's fault anyway. If he hadn't left that pot on the stove boiling those stupid eggs 'til it almost caught fire, that smoke thing wouldn't have started screeching. I was trying to get it to stop that infernal noise and couldn't reach it. I tried beating it with the broom, but it just kept on making that squealing noise. So I went and got a chair so I could reach it."

"And you fell off the chair? Is that what happened?"

"No, no. I hollered at Fred to bring me something to poke in that hole to make it quit. Fool came barreling around the corner and knocked the chair out from under me. Man couldn't see an elephant standing right in front of him. When he came round that corner at the edge of the kitchen, he slammed right into me. Down I went, chair and all."

"Poor Fred, I'll bet he felt terrible. I mean, causing your accident and all."

"Yeah, he felt pretty bad, but when I get out of this place, believe you me, he's going to feel a lot worse for bringing me down here in the first place. Good grief! Here comes another one of those vultures." I looked around to see a nurse entering the room. "I'm warning you, if you try to stab me again, I'm coming up out of this bed."

The nurse just smiled and said, "No, ma'am, I'm just bringing in your lunch." She sat the meal tray down and left.

As Aunt Lottie uncovered the dish, she looked at me and made a face. "Green beans and chicken, that's all they feed you in this place. Pat gal, run across the street and get me a cheeseburger."

I laughed again because I knew she hated green beans. "Sorry, Aunt Lottie, I'm afraid it's green beans for you. Just think of it as your medicine for climbing on chairs. Besides, they tell me you'll be out in a day or two. You just sprained your ankle."

Aunt Lottie gave me a familiar look of disapproval, but then said, "We'll see about that. Yes, sir. We'll just see about that. I can't see hanging around this place for two days. I got things to do. Besides, I'm afraid Fred might decide to boil some more eggs, and now he ain't got no smoke machine to tell him when they're ready."