Aunt Lottie Wants to Start an Advice Column

Aunt Lottie stopped by the other day and was so excited. "Hey, Pat gal, I couldn't wait to come over and talk to you about something."

"Okay. Sit down here and tell me all about it. What's up?"

"I think you and I should go in cahoots and write an advice column on that internet place you're always writing on. I'll answer the questions, and you type it all up on there. What you think?" Aunt Lottie was having trouble containing her excitement. In fact, I wondered if my chair was going to be able to stand it. I swear I thought I heard the legs whine.

"What kind of advice are you thinking about?"

"Oh, about all kinds of things. You know, love, getting along with other people, places, jobs, all kinds of things. I've done a lot of things, you know, been a lot of places. I figure I can help people a lot."

"But, Aunt Lottie, who's going to ask questions for you to answer? I mean, do you have people asking you a lot of questions about things like that?"

"Shoot, people ask me stuff all the time. Everything from am I crazy to how to get a good man like Fred. I'm sure that won't be a problem. Besides, some of them people you talk about on that computer there might have some good questions for me. You said you write about me sometimes. You still do that?"

"Well, yeah, I still write articles about you sometimes. I guess I could ask them to send me some questions if there's something they'd like to know. Would you want personal questions about you, Aunt Lottie? You know, sometimes people can ask some pretty embarrassing questions."

"Foot, there ain't much anybody could ask me that hasn't been answered by me before. I wouldn't mind that. The only thing is you'd have to tell them just what I say, 'cause I don't want you go trying to make me sound all sweet all the time."

Not much chance of that, I thought. "Well, okay, why not? We'll try it and see how it goes. There's is one thing, though, I need to check with another writer first because she does an advice column, and I wouldn't want to infringe on hers. So when would you want to start this?"

"Oh, I'll go right now and talk to a couple of people. As a matter of act, I already got some notes at home. We'll start it as soon as I pick out a couple." She practically jumped from the chair, which I think gave out a sigh of relief. "I say we start real soon."

"Okay. You get some questions together, and we'll let her rip."

Aunt Lottie was dancing and singing as she walked out the door, and I thought how nice it was to see her so excited. In fact, I don't think I'd seen her like that since she had taken all those poor guys for a ton of money playing pool down at the VFW.