Author Teri LaFlesh Writes Guide for Curly Hair Upkeep

I've been attracted to men of various complexions, heights and builds, but one person stood out in my mind while reading Teri LaFlesh's "Curly Like Me" hair guide.

He was a friend of my brother's and an extremely good-looking guy. He had that "long hair, don't care" swagger, was multi-racial (Puerto Rican, Cuban and black) and had long cornrows resting on his back. Every guy has that special something about him, and his hair was what attracted me to him. But that hair infatuation turned out to work against me.

He came to visit my north side Chicago apartment, and I couldn't figure out why he kept his cap on considering he was so proud of his hair. Plus, the Windy City was having its usually moody fall days so I know the cap had to be baking on his head. He admitted his hair was dirty. For someone as hair happy as I am, that was a great opportunity to have an interesting day.

After the initial flirting, humming Mario's "Braid My Hair" and "accidental" thigh grabs from him, I got right down to washing his curly, long hair. I washed it exactly like I wash my own hair, scrubbing the shampoo into the scalp, holding all of the hair up to wash the tips, pulling my fingers through it, conditioning it and dry toweling it. When he removed the towel and sat in my chair to blow dry and comb his hair out, I knew something was wrong. A big chunk of it was tangled. I tried combing his hair out exactly the way I do my own permed hair, and it tangled even more. After an hour of him patiently sighing and going, "I should be mad you messed up my hair" while I tried to untangle his hair, he gently moved my hands away, asked for scissors and clipped the tangled hair clump out.

He had so much hair that it didn't make a difference, and no one could tell there was about two handfuls of hair missing outside of me and him. I oiled his hair and dried it, brushing it into a neat ponytail. But I felt terrible after that and vowed to learn what my mistake was. This is the way I'd been washing and drying my own hair for decades, in addition to making side money doing the same thing for other family and friends, so what went wrong?

In LaFlesh's book, I found out so much more about the difference between washing curly hair and straight hair. Chapter 3 "Shampooing" gives step-by-step details about the difference between straight hair and curly hair shampooing.

Here are a few excerpts from "Curly Like Me":

"Know that shampoo commercials and shower scenes in movies are almost exclusively meant for people with straight hair, even when they happen to be showing a model of color and/or with curly hair...During the few times that curly hair is mentioned in the media, even when it's referred to as 'extremely curly,' they still mean mildly curly at best."

"...if you have curly hair, never, ever pile it on top of your head and rub it into a sudsy pile. At best, you'll have a mess. Most likely, you'll end up with a matted mess, and it could take hours to even locate the ends of your hair to begin to comb it out."

"Directly shampooing the ends of your curly hair is harsh and drying--and unnecessary."

"Smooth the shampoo onto your scalp only, by inserting your fingers beneath your hair. This way, your hair has as little direct contact with the shampoo as possible....Your hair will still get clean from the shampoo that is applied to your scalp."

"Curly Like Me" gives insider tips on hair history, the structure and vulnerabilities of curly hair, shampooing, conditioning, combing, making perfect curls, daily curls, baby curls, highlights, the dangers of using chemicals like perm, useful products and tools, a style gallery and her curl philosophy. The best part about the book is unlike many hair care products in stores and sometimes the magazines and books you see in retail store aisles, the person talking about the product has direct experience with it.

There were some tips in this book, like using petroleum jelly in hair and combing from the bottom up, that are absolute no-no's for straight hair. However, for those of you without curly hair, this book is still a good reference tool should you want to style someone's curly hair or learn more about hair texture and styles. Chapter 13's "How to Do Your 'Do" was fun to find creative ideas to style hair without going to a salon. Chapter 11's "Your Toolbox" gave much-needed information on why silicone is not dangerous, contrary to popular belief, as well as the importance of conditioner. Although I've had a pretty peaceful time with relaxed hair, it was still enlightening to read Chapter 12's "Chemically Altering Your Hair." Learning the pH acidity levels and the difference between straightener and relaxer was educational for me. The only downside of the read was she mentioned conditioner to the point of beating it into the ground, and the chapter on styling children's hair had a lot of repeated information. But other than that, I enjoyed the book and would give it 5 out of 5 stars.

This 263-page book would've been very useful to me before I messed up this guy's hair. Surprisingly enough he still wanted to hang out with me after that. Talk about tough love! If you've met someone who has curly hair, it's a pretty sexy way to get to know someone. There's nothing to do but talk and let him rest between your thighs. It worked for me (in a strange way), the Chicago Relationships Examiner. Read LaFlesh's book. Let it work for you, too, without the hair loss of course.

Additional Note: Wiley books are available at your local bookstore or by calling 1-800-225-5945. Book cover photo published with permission from Gilda Squire Media Relations.