Autism in Children Makes Moms into "Supermoms"
But newly published studies of 364 mothers of autistic children as compared to a national pool of 62,000 mothers of school-aged children give us some good news.
Although mothers of autistic children are more likely to report having "poor or fair" emotional health themselves than the average mother, they are also more likely to report and demonstrate some absolutely remarkable emotional strength.
"It is a terrifying, horrific time when you realize that your life is never going to be the same again. But it is also a watershed moment when your love for your child becomes more than you ever dreamed it could be," author Christina Adams says. Her son Jonah, once just very bright but "different", was diagnosed as autistic around the time that he turned three. "You take on all these roles. You become an expert on diet, on treatments, on all kinds of things, and you end up fighting battles all the time on your child's behalf because the support systems, which are supposed to be in place to help, aren't there."
Mothers of autistic children are just as likely to have close relationships with their children as are parents of "normal" children, and they are five times more likely to have close relationships with their children than are parents of children with other disorders. One common myth that the new study explodes is the idea that parents of autistic children get angry with their kids a lot more often than average parents. This turns out to be baseless.
"The [mothers of autistic children] reported being angry at their children less often, and they seemed to have much closer relationships with their children than mothers of children with other social skills deficits. In general the [research] shows that mothers of children with autism are doing well. They were certainly under a lot of stress, but the mothers in this sample were also able to establish close relationships with their children, and they felt competent in their parenting and coping skills," says researcher Guillermo Montes, PhD, of the Children's Institute in Rochester, N.Y.
Children with autism exhibit behaviors such as verbal or nonverbal communication problems, having a hard time making eye contact, "senseless" repetitive behaviors such as bouncing up and down nonstop, having a very hard time changing roles or leaving one activity for another, and possessing a very narrow range of interests.
Sources:
Children With Autism: Coping Skills for Parents
Published by Brant McLaughlin
I am a Writer driven by endless curiosity and a deep desire to waste time creatively. View profile
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11 Comments
Post a Commentsure is true about the stress, as a mother of a child with autism, that is very true. But it is a kind of determination and love that just pushes us foward. It is hard to explain. thanks for the article.
I have an autistic son, too. This is a very good article. While my son and I are not the best of friends, I do find that we are very close, even though he is approaching that tenuous age of 13. You've made some very good points! But, let's not forget the Dad's that help out too. My husband, his stepdad, has done lots to help, and it's very stressful for him, too! ;0)
I have an autistic son and find this article to be spot on.
Leslie,
That's all complete horseshit.
Good article! Mothers and dads of autism spectrum children have a very hard job. They need to have an unending supply of energy, patience, tolerance and so many, many other things just to get through one day. They deserve a HUGE amount of respect and appreciation. It's a truly hard but very rewarding job.
I really like this article. Thanks for writing.
Hi Todd,
Yes, you are right in everything you said. My article happened to be news about studies concerning mothers. Fathers certainly are equal to the task!
As a (mildly) autistic mom of an autistic son, I think this article is dead-on right - though I may be a little biased! But I have a theory. Because autistic children are challenged in communication, and women are particularly focused on communication simply through brain chemistry, it may be that the intense therapy required of mothers to help their children communicate results in an intensified attachment. I know I'm closer to my difficult, moody, charming autistic son than my other children (but don't tell them!)
Thanks for your comments regarding the extraordinary effort mothers exhibit. I realize in a majority of the cases Mother's do bear he responsibility. However, fathers are also impacted. I have been the primary care giver for my son with autism for several years and I can assure you that my experience is similar. I have been advocate, health care provider, diet expert, and financial provider for my son. I have made professional and personal sacrifices but I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm grateful that he came to me and not someone else.
"poor to fair emotion health"
Are they are more likey to suffer depression and relationship problems ?... Perhaps they need more help and support from professionals and less FUFFY "supermom" research stories.