Autism Denial: Who Really Hurts from It?

With reports that 1 in 166 children born today will have some form of an Autism Disorder, Autism awareness is on the rise around the world. Medical and behavioral studies have shown that the earlier children are diagnosed and start receiving therapy and intervention services the better their chances are of becoming higher functioning teens and adults.

In spite of the fact that earlier diagnosis is best for the child, many parents are reluctant to recognize autistic traits in their own child and therefore put off seeking a diagnosis or treatment for as long as they can deny or rationalize away the symptoms. O should know: I am one of those parents.

My eldest son Toby was a seemingly normal, beautiful infant. He was aware, interactive, and healthy...up until he was about eighteen months old. Then my sweet little boy's development seemed to take a U-turn. The speech that he had begun to learn disappeared for months only to return in an unrecognizable form-what we affectionately began to call "Toberian." He seemed tired and sick all the time and didn't want to play with his older sister or anyone else. His version of playing with his toys usually involved lining all his little army men or cars in perfect little lines on the table or stairs. He wouldn't maintain eye contact for more than a second and would tantrum easily.

Between Toby's second and third birthday we had a number of friends and family members ask if we had ever asked to have him evaluated for autism. We were shocked that they would even bring up such a subject. Obviously Toby wasn't autistic, just a little delayed in his speech. Sure, he had a few quirky behaviors but he didn't rock himself or shun us or anything like that. He was quick to smile and show affection; he just wanted to do things on his own time in his own way.

When our son was three and we still could barely understand five to ten words out of his mouth, we decided that perhaps he had a hearing problem and was speaking words the way that he heard them. His hearing checked out so we were referred to a speech therapist. The speech therapist spent less than thirty minutes trying to do an evaluation before gently informing us that there was more than a speech problem going on. She suggested that we schedule an appointment with the school district to have a full development assessment.

By this point we just wanted to be able to communicate with Toby. We agreed to the full assessment. It was determined that he definitely had developmental delay, but the school district was not qualified to do a determination of autism. Another year would go by before we decided to take Toby to participate in an autism research study that a local university was conducting. We still didn't think that he had a full-blown autism, though we were willing to consider a lesser disorder such as PDD or Asperger's Syndrome. When all the tests and assessments were concluded it was determined that Toby had a full Autism, though he is on the higher functioning end of the spectrum.

Toby was four years old when his autism was diagnosed. We wasted two years that could have been spent getting him early treatment. With earlier treatment it would have been possible for him to be leading a more normal life today. Every day that he spends receiving behavior and developmental therapy we see an improvement in him. We have hope that with continued therapy we will be able to someday function as a fairly normal family.

Through all of this we have met many other families with autistic children and with children who have autistic traits but their parents don't want to have them evaluated. We understand how devastating it is to parents when they find out that their child is different, but a diagnosis doesn't change who their child is. Toby is still Toby no matter what his diagnosis is or isn't-nothing will change that. What we have noticed though is that the parents aren't the ones who hurt the most when a diagnosis and treatment it put off; it is the child. These children want to communicate; they want to feel like they can function like everyone around them. Allowing them to receive the help that they need and that they qualify to receive once a diagnosis is determined is the best gift that a parent can give to them.

If you suspect or it has ever been suggested to you by a loving friend or family member that your child may have an autistic disorder, take a deep breath and have the courage to seek a professional's opinion. It might be the best thing that you ever do for your son or daughter.

Meta-description: Having your son or daughter assessed for autism or an autistic disorder as early as possible may be the best thing you ever do for your child.

Key words: autism, autistic, disorder, diagnosis, therapy, developmental delay, child, treatment, asperger's, PDD, speech, delayed, autism awareness

Tags: autism, autistic, disorder, diagnosis, therapy, developmental_delay, child, treatment, Asperger's_Disorder, PDD, speech, delayed, autism_awareness