Avatar Envy: Growing Jealousy Between Real World Women and Avatar Rivals

Avatars more than just a cartoon?
We all know an avatar is basically a cartoon. Avatars are commonly used by real people to represent themselves in multi media role playing games. MMORPG'S are a huge on line business. If you know anyone who plays Everquest or World of Warcraft chances are you are familiar with the role avatars play. Each player creates his/her own avatar and chooses it's role or profession in the game. Some avatars are female or male as the profession of choice dictates. It can be quite interesting to outfit your avatar. It isn't as easy as standing in front of your closet and deciding which top and jeans to wear for the day. You can start out with a basic outfit and then you may add to it by gaining gold as payment for services your avatar renders in the game. You are then able to go shopping in one of the many shops and buy an assortment of gear. Typically a woman avatar is quite voluptuous. Most female avatars are scantily clad. Even when they get to go shopping nothing they buy can quite cover up that cleavage. Men avatars on the other hand seem to wear a lot of robes or metal breast plates. I can be a two hundred and fifty pound woman running a cash register at Walmart by day but at days end watch out. When evening arrives I can also slip my waif-like other self into a slinky pixie dress that I cannot possibly bend over in and still keep my dignity in the "real world".

Avatar warning, women may not always be women
The funny thing about role playing is just that. Not only can a person recreate themselves in a virtual world they can also change their sex. You can never be quite sure if that cute blond avatar that calls herself Elfiegrl is really a female at all. Just like every other player out there an avatar is a depiction of how and who they really want to be. Check it out and see if avatars even come in two hundred pound versions of people. Some of the beast type characters certainly do but most players have more than one avatar. There seems to be no end to the amount of avatars a person can have in an MMORPG. If you have the time they've got the gear. They also have your money and I mean the real kind.

Jealousy of avatars is a growing problem
It may sound ridiculous that a real woman would be jealous of a cartoon. The fact is that it's becoming a problem in many households. If your spouse is spending every waking moment on the computer it may be driving a wedge into your relationship. You might find yourself buried under a mountain of his laundry while he rides off day after day to rescue Elfiegrl from pits of eternal doom. It can get a little weird. It's helpful to remind yourself that Elfiegrl may be a dude sitting in his boxers surrounded by empty take out containers. Or, she very well may be a woman who couldn't fit into a cutsie mini thing to save her life. There is a very good chance that her significant other is fuming in another room as well.

Relationships and avatars
If your spouse or mate is involved in role playing games then it is understood that they belong to a guild. Guilds are collections of people that regularly game together. There is a big social aspect to gaming. Flirting is extremely common. It is always easier to be gregarious and outgoing when you are anonymous. It can be quite exhilarating for a normally shy person to be sought after in the game for his abilities. Many guilds make a meeting time for a gaming session to begin. If you are trying to have a life with someone who has to work you into his gaming schedule that can be extremely annoying. Private messaging and general game chat keeps the players in contact. Real conversations are going on in real time. It is not unheard of for marriages to break up over gaming and relationships that it produces.

You can't compete with an avatar
If you find yourself jealous over the time or relationship that your significant other has with avatars it is a wasted emotion. You can not compete with an avatar. It's like trying to compete with one of Hugh Hefner's girls. They are bleached, injected, enhanced and basically perfect from head to toe. Peel all that away and what you have left is just a girl or a guy who doesn't want to be themselves. If you are firmly planted in the real world and you do not play any of these games you cannot relate to how much pull they have on a person. Real life is riddled with real problems. You can't wave a magic wand and you can't rescue anybody. Most of us have to get up and go to work everyday and figure out which bill to pay at the end of the week. It's hard enough just getting by without doing it alone. Your avatar spouse will not garner gold for the family or help pillage foreign lands for their loot. He will do it for another avatar spouse. Oh, I failed to mention people get married in these games. Avatar marriages officiated by avatar priests. It's quite lovely and romantic really. Unless, you are married to the guy who only shows you the back of his head day after day.

Breaking the avatar hold
You may not be able to make your spouse break away from the gaming or the friendships. You have no control over what he/she will do. The only change you can make is in yourself. You can break away from the hold that avatar jealousy has over you. You can decide as a real woman you are entitled to a real relationship. Try not to get bogged down in proving that there is some inappropriate avatar bonding going on. It isn't worth all the time and trouble it will take to make a case. You may be feeling a void in your relationship created by avatar envy. Confront the man not the avatar. Wait until he gets off his horse and logs out of the game. Talk to him when he is in 'real world" mode. If you are lonely then tell him. Talk about the real issues that may be causing him to escape into a fantasy world. If you have to resort to desperate measures then do it. Go get a mirror and hold it up to his face and make him look at his own reflection. If he looks horrified it is probably because he had convinced himself that his avatar was his 'real" self. Never call him by his avatar name in the "real" world. It is just an act of enabling and it is not healthy. Even if he insists he is to be called, 'brutlyzer" don't give in. Just say, "OK, Hank whatever you say" until he concedes. All kidding aside, it is not easy to live with someone who is plastering his nightstand with avatar pictures. At least back when Playboy bunnies were the competition you had a real person in the centerfold to compete with. When you are trying to break the hold an avatar may have over your relationship you don't have a real face to put on it. There is too much left to everyones imagination. No one can tame imaginations and these games take full advantage of that fact.