Avoid Being Rape - Resisting Strangers

In one word, resist! Don't be intimidated. As policewoman Mary Keefe said: "Once the unsuspecting woman has been accosted, the potential rapist tests her to make sure she can be intimidated so that he will have little trouble having her comply with his demands."

So make it clear that you positively will not submit. Right at the outset, let him know that it won't be easy if he tries anything with you. This is what experts say. Psychologist James Selkin urges:

"It is important that a woman resist at the very beginning of the attack, when the assailant first makes his intentions known. At this point he has not committed a serious crime, and it's easier for him to look for a more cooperative victim than to struggle to overcome one who has already shattered his hopes for a smooth sex-fantasy trip."

Professor Gene G. Abel says:

"To prevent rape, a woman should convey in a firm, unequivocal manner using brisk, assertive language that under no circumstances will she permit intercourse and that unless the rapist leaves immediately he will be in trouble. The rapist must see her as a difficult, aggressive opponent, not a cowering, passive individual groping for a response to his threat of rape."

Firm resistance at the outset really works. A woman had the following experience in New York city:

"I had been shopping and came home around 9 P.M. and was going into the building where I lived. As usual I checked out the elevator before entering. All was clear. But when I got to the 4th floor, the elevator door was pulled open. A man had run up the stairs to catch me on the 4th floor, and I hadn't seen him. He got in and started to come toward me, saying that he wouldn't hurt me if I would have relations with him.

"Before he could progress any further, I said to him without anger, 'You must be crazy to ask me to do a thing like that. Don't you know that I'm a Christian and that would be wrong for me to do? I don't do things like that. And besides, I'm on my way home to my family because they are waiting for me.'

"He then answered, 'OK, OK, OK, don't be angry, and please don't scream. I'm going.' So he got off at the 5th floor and ran down the stairs to get away from me."

But someone may ask: 'What if the man has a knife or a gun? Isn't it dangerous to resist?' She is the one to decide what she will do. But Susan Brownmiller, a leading spokesperson on the subject of rape, observes in her book Against Our Will:

"Despite the popular myths of male violence and the alleged safety in submission, it has never been demonstrated that resistance on the part of a rape victim in an attempt to escape 'provokes' an assailant to commit an act of murder."

On the other hand, resistance has time and again saved women from being raped, and even killed. The rapist-murderer Albert DeSalvo, known as the "Boston Strangler," chose women he could intimidate. A waitress who resisted him, biting his finger to the bone, and keeping up a loud, sustained scream, was neither raped nor killed. He fled from her in anger and confusion.

Weapons to Use

To what extent may a woman resist? May she properly inflict damage on her assailant? Indeed she may, as did the waitress mentioned above. And if the attack continues, she may use any means at her disposal to resist intercourse. A woman may talk to her husband or father or a trusted friend to get advice on defensive measures. Some women have been able to incapacitate their attacker with a well-placed blow. Even if a woman is not a strong fighter, she has a powerful weapon that she can use.

This weapon is her voice. Screaming has proved to be an effective method of deterring a rapist.

The power of a scream was illustrated when a woman was called on in a radio script to scream. She had never done so before. When she finally cut loose with all her might, the stunned group reacted: "Please don't ever do that again!" It had actually frightened them. Just for practice, try sometime screaming with all the energy you can muster. Keep in mind that you have available this powerful weapon, and use it if need be.

Relief at Hand

It is indeed sad that most women today, and even some men, face the threat of sexual assault. The violence in the world is like a spreading plague. Pretending that it doesn't exist only increases the possibility of your being a victim. So, wisely, face the problem. Take precautions. And, if assaulted, do all in your power to resist.