Avoid a Divorce

Your wedding day should be one of the happiest in your life. It is on this day that you can not imagine a life without presence of that person you will now share everything with including you name. Divorce is for other people, not you. All of the sudden one day, the word spews from your mouths and you can hardly believe it. What causes so many divorces in our country? Why does the divorce rate continue to climb at such an alarming pace? People divorce for all kinds of reasons, but in my opinion, there are three very common causes; extended family becomes to involved in the relationship, money issues arise, or the relationship loses intimacy.

Having a large extended family can be great at times. However, when you are newly married and trying to adjust to each other, spending every waking moment dealing with extended family events and issues can take a toll on even the best relationships. If you are one of those people that talks to your mother and sister one hundred times a day, attends family gatherings every single weekend, and tells your family every detail of your relationship, you could be in some trouble. Every couple needs alone time and they need privacy. It is important to set boundaries with your extended families so that you and your spouse have the time and effort to spend on each other. Certainly discussing things such as arguments with your spouse can backfire because your family is bound to side with you and they will not forget it just because you and the love of your life have made up. Unfortunately, many married people either realize these things too late or make the choice not to change their focus from extended family to their marriage.

Money, money, money. They say that money is the root of all evil and when it comes to marriages, I would have to agree at least some of the time. For years, you have made your own decisions about money and now you have someone that is aware of your every dollar. It is a difficult situation at best. On top of that, there are new expenses and sometimes money gets tight. Many couples have trouble with financial planning and they also struggle with the new rules that might come along with marriage. You can no longer spend $50 a week on a manicure and another $50 on tanning because you have to assist with the mortgage or grocery bill. It can be a real tension point between you and your spouse. The best way to keep money from causing a divorce is to talk about it before you get married. Laying everything on the table and being sure you both understand each other on money issues may just save your marriage later.

Let's be honest, the newness wears off and suddenly you don't share the same intimacy as you once did with your spouse. Everyone needs intimacy in a marriage and if you aren't getting it from your spouse or worse yet, aren't giving it to your spouse, it is almost a sure bet that it will be found it elsewhere. Keeping a marriage intimate can be a struggle especially with busy schedules and obligations, but divorce can be a huge price to pay for disregarding such an important factor in your marriage. Intimacy does not always have to be sex. It can be hugging, kissing, or just communicating at a level that you don't with other people. Be sure you are connecting with your loved one before it is too late and they connect with someone else.

If anyone told you staying married would be easy, they were lying. Marriage is a lot of work, but it is also very rewarding and fulfilling. If you make efforts, so will your spouse and in the end you will both be happier because you did. More importantly, you will still be married to the one person you can't imagine living without for many, many years to come.