Avoid These 10 Passive-Aggressive Behaviors Toward Your Child

Passive-aggressive behavior can have a devastating effect on children. It is a telltale sign of dysfunctional communication between a parent and a child. Often unconscious in nature, it is no less harmful to children than open conflict. Here are 10 passive-aggressive behaviors to avoid engaging in with your child.

10) Purposefully buying children clothing that is uncool or that they don't like. Rather than tell their child that the clothing they are wearing is inappropriate, too revealing, or too expensive, a parent will instead respond by buying clothes that they know are cheap and/or dorky-looking in a backhanded effort at revenge.

9) Serving food that the children hate. If a child gets a little mouthy, a bad report card, or whatever, don't be surprised if the next meal consists of brussel sprouts, spinach, or some other equally un-kid-friendly food. A child's diet is a common way for a parent to exact retribution.

8) Scheduling boring family activities to conflict with children's activities. If a child has been looking forward to hanging out at the mall with friends, catching the new iCarly episode, or just talking on the phone, dragging them to meet with aunt Bertha for a home movie night is a way for parents to get back at a child.

7) Telling embarrassing stories about children to would-be boyfriends or girlfriends. Nothing will rankle a child like being made to look like a little kid. When a parent brings up how junior used to wet the bed or suck his thumb to that hottie he is hoping to date, this is passive-aggressiveness defined.

6) Posting baby pictures or embarrassing pictures online of a child. Facebook and Myspace can be great places for parents to humble their children. Posting a pic of a child with spaghetti all over her face or in diapers will likely cause her to "die" and wish she had "never been born".

5) Dressing like a bum when a child's friends are over. Sure, slumming around in PJ's might be fine when only the family is around, but when a child has friends over this is sure to cause conflict. Even if they don't admit it, a child hopes that other kids will not find his/her family too dorky.

4) Buying age-inappropriate gifts for birthdays or holidays. A common way for a parent to make a child feel younger than they actually are is to buy gifts that are several years too young for him/her. This technique is an attempt by the parent to tell the child that they are not as mature as they might think they are..

3) "Losing" something important to the child. From a favorite video game to a cell phone, a child's possessions are a way for some parents to control behavior. "Losing" a special item might seem like a clever trick by the parent, but most kids will see it for what it really is: An attempt at dominance.

2) Giving a backhanded compliment. Telling a child that she looks good in a dress "for somebody of your size" is not really a compliment at all. Instead, it tells the child that even in an attractive outfit she is overweight. This is a highly damaging form passive-aggressiveness that targets a child's self-esteem.

1) Being hypocritical. Griping to a children to keep their rooms clean while a parent's room looks like a disaster area is painfully passive-aggressive. Everybody is hypocritical to some degree; it is just human nature. When kids are held to an extremely different standard than their parents, it can breed animosity or depression.

It takes a lot of work to have an honest dialogue with a child concerning negative topics. It is simpler just to avoid them and engage in a passive-aggressive retaliation. For the sake of the child, however, it is crucial to make the effort. Avoid these 10 common passive-aggressive responses and have a discussion instead.