Avoiding Conflict with College Roommates

One of the most nerve wracking experiences about going to college is finding out who your first roommate will be. A lot of schools will send you the contact information for your roommate a few weeks before college begins. When you receive this, you can call or e-mail your roommate to discuss who will bring each shared item. You can also tell each other about yourselves, such as what you are majoring in or what you like to do in your free time.

Even if there are no problems during the initial interaction, your roommate match may not be totally perfect. You do not entirely know this person and can't know them for sure until you've lived with them for awhile. It may only take a couple weeks or a month for roommate conflict to set in. In most cases, these conflicts can be avoided. Here's how to form a more harmonious relationship with a stranger in close quarters:

Establish rules. Figure out what will and won't be acceptable in your new living arrangement. Whether it is not watching TV past a certain hour at night, or having too many people in your room at one time, try to negotiate a balance that will please the both of you. You will learn how to respect each others' needs and if someone does break a rule, they will be reminded of what they weren't supposed to do in the first place.

Get to know your roommate. Ask them about their study habits or their idea of fun, for example. Do they like to study with music or TV on, or do they prefer silence? Do they go out to parties every weekend, or would they rather stay in with their friends? If a roommate likes to go out, you can request that they try to enter quietly if they get drunk. If they are studying, you can wear your headphones if you choose to listen to music, or even study somewhere else. Just ensure that you are each able to have your own space in the room when needed.

Keep your living space clean. Even if you are not a neat freak, you should take care of basic chores such as taking out the trash and washing your dirty dishes. If you are not completely organized, do not let your mess interfere with your roommate's side of the room. When it comes down to duties such as vacuuming or taking out recycling, these are things either you or your roommate can handle; set up a schedule so there's no argument about whose turn it is to do something this week.

If you follow these steps and problems still arise, address the situation immediately. The first thing to do is talk out the problem calmly and figure out how you two can work together to fix it. If that doesn't work, you can inform your resident advisor (RA) of the situation. Your RA will listen to both sides of the story and suggest solutions that work for the both of you. When all else fails, you may be able to move out of your room and get a new roommate. However, moving out is something that should only be done when all other possible solutions have failed.

Having a roommate in college is an experience that teaches you about cooperation and introduces you to new people. Even if you and your roommate have nothing in common, you can still find ways to live together peacefully. Set some boundaries, clean up a couple times a week, and you will build a solid relationship to last for the whole year.