Avowal of Affection: How to Confess Your Love

They said it couldn't be done, but behold! The once wild mustang of a man you were was somehow tamed by the tender heart of the modern woman. You may find yourself in a state of uncomfortable confusion as you tread upon this new territory, but one thing is for certain: you love her.

You just haven't told her yet.

The Game of Love

Back in your bachelor days, you were the fearless individual who could conquer it all. You had all the right words to say to your boss to hook that new promotion, all the right techniques to charm the ladies in the bar scene. Those trials and tribulations seemed like simple feats-nothing you couldn't handle. Why, then, do you freeze up every time you want to say those three little words?

Even in the spirit of Valentine's Day, let's not sugar coat anything. Love is not easy. If anyone told you otherwise, they've never experienced it for themselves. Some see it as an emotional phenomenon, others a chemical imbalance in the brain, but no matter how you experience love, you believe you feel it for this woman. Where do you begin?

Questions, Signs and Signals

First off, ask yourself this very important question. Do you really mean it? Messing with someone's emotions for sexual favors, financial gains, or any other illegitimate reason will only lead to problems down the road.

Once you've discovered the answer to that, you can worry yourself with the little things, including but not limited to the fret of whether or not your declaration of love will be returned. Look for little hints she might be dropping, such as phrases like "I've never felt this way before" or "I think I'm falling for you". It's a good indication of her feelings towards you.

Deciding the best way to communicate your feelings as well as the appropriate time can be confusing. Truth to tell, there is no "preferred" format of time. But you can always use their personality to help you, for instance, if she reacts well to spontaneity, you could tell her over a fun night out on the town, when the two of you have that single second of alone time. If she's the romantic type, tell her after a romantic evening in accompanied by roses and a glass of wine (but not so much as to impair her judgment).

When the words have finally slipped passed your lips and they're now out in the open, you can begin to relax a little. Bear in mind, however, that you've only jumped over the first hurdle and there's still a long track ahead of you. Can you back up your avowal of love? Try telling your partner what you love about them, whether it's the cute little way she laughs, or the positive energy you feel when she discusses something she's passionate about.

Relieve Pressure

You told her you love her. She didn't say it back. Now is not the time to slip into cardiac arrest and condemn yourself about how you'll be living alone for the rest of your life with sixteen cats and a Cockatiel. It's also not the time to interrogate your partner like she's a suspect for murder. Try to relieve all the pressure you can to make things easier for the situation as a whole. It might be uncomfortable, but have you ever considered you might have just caught her off guard? It doesn't have to turn into an escalating fight. Love, to a lot of women, is a big deal. Once the confession has had time to sink in, she'll be more ready to respond appropriately.

Engaging the Next Level

At this point, when the "I love you" cat is out of the proverbial bag and the aftermath has been addressed, the day can end blissfully with the two of you curled up in one another's arms. But tomorrow is another day. Entering into the next stage in any relationship is going to open the door to more questions. Do you move in together? If so, when? Approximately when's the right time to shop for a ring? How much do you spend on the ring? Saying "I love you" was hard enough, how in the world will you propose?

These are all questions that will be answered in due time, more often than not, by yourself. If the two of you click, the inquiries will resolve themselves.

While love may not be all cotton-candy clouds and pretty pink butterflies, don't get discouraged. Anything in life that's easy to attain offers no satisfaction. To live is to love, and to fear love is to fear life. And those of us who fear life are already three parts dead.