Babies and Working Moms: Back to Work or Stay at Home with Baby?

My wife has been on maternity leave for almost 3 months now, and since the beginning she's been asking me, "Should I go back to work after the baby is born?" Actually I think she's really asking herself. It's understandable...she's worked hard on her education and has found something she likes to do (my wife is a nurse). At the same time, she wants to be at home to nurture our baby. I'm sure this is a dilemma that many women face.

She hasn't fully decided on what to do yet, although I think going back to work full time has been ruled out. But there's always the part time option, especially as a nurse since she can basically choose her hours. I suppose we should feel fortunate that we even have the choice to make, but it's a difficult choice regardless. In thinking about this decision, here are some of the things that we had to consider.

The income is the first obvious issue. As I stated, we are fortunate enough that she doesn't have to go back to work. But this can be a real issue for some. One thing to keep in mind though is to make sure you consider the hidden costs of going back to work. Day care isn't cheap, and you my end up needing extra help around the house because you'll want to spend as much free time with your baby as possible. So be sure to add up all the costs and compare it with your after-tax income.

Will you feel guilty about going back to work and leaving your baby in daycare? Some parents have a really hard time with the thought of putting their baby in daycare. They wonder, "Can anyone take care of my baby as well as I can?" or even worse, "Are they taking care of my baby...period?" If you have thoughts like these but still want to go back to work, perhaps a family member is the better option. We are considering asking our parents to care of our baby part time.

Will you feel dissatisfied if you don't go back to work? You may have certain career goals that will be hampered by your decision to stay at home. Or you may just simply feel the need to have a career. Prioritize what is important to help with your decision.

Every situation is different and personal. For us, it's important to be together as a family as much as possible. Heck if I could stay home too, I would. My wife will probably decide to work a couple of days a week, at the most. My personal preference would be for her to stay at home full time. But she knows I respect her and will support her decision. After all, it's really our decision. And if my wife is happy, I'm happy. And if the parents are happy, the baby will be happy!

Do you have any thoughts on this? Please share your comments.