Baby Boomers and Living the Dream

A longtime friend of mine recently said that I would change my way of thinking when I turned 60 and the most mentally productive years of my life would be from 60 to 65. I'm beginning to understand what she meant. She turned 70 in 2010 and can now look back at what she did with her life during that time period. She traveled all over the world, taught classes to travelers, and experienced things very few people get to experience.

Now that I have turned 60, I find myself seriously reflecting on the next years of my life. I already know that 60 is the new 45 (or at least that is what the media tells me) so I definitely have a few good years left. It's the new 45 because we supposedly do things to stay healthier, busier, and more active physically and mentally now.

Baby Boomers have made the largest contribution ever to society. What does all that mean now? How much more will we leave behind? The changes in the last 60 years have been enormous. What changes will occur from now on for us to experience?

Two changes that have made the biggest difference to me personally are man landing on the moon and the computer becoming a household item. I watched black and white TV shows that talked about both during the 1950s. We thought it was all just a fantasy...... until the fantasies became real.

I know exactly where I was when Neil Armstrong made his speech from the moon "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind" in 1969. I remember seeing a computer for the first time in Vancouver, Canada. It took up 5 floors of a building and had less memory than our first cell phones. That was also in the late 1960's. By the mid 1970s, personal computers were available to the public and 15 years later, they were all user friendly. For the last 10 years I have been communicating word-wide on my laptop and accessing any information about anything the same way.

And this is just the beginning! What more will happen in the rest of my lifetime?

I turned 60 in July 2009. To celebrate I went to New York City. My children and their spouses took me but I would have gone by myself if they hadn't. It was #1 on my Bucket List.

What an interesting term...."Bucket List." The first thing that comes to mind is the old song "There's a Hole In My Bucket," definitely from my childhood! And so are the actors who starred in the movie, "The Bucket List." Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman both turned 71 in 2009. Their portrayals of what was important at that stage of life differ greatly from the younger years when life was forever and I was indestructible. .

Before you can write your bucket list though, there are a few things to understand about yourself.

Remember Your Dreams
"Whether you think you can or think you can't - either way you are right."
Henry Ford (1863 - 1947)

Think back to when you were a child and remember the dreams you had for yourself. Were you going to be a fireman or a pilot? Maybe you would become a famous actor or singer. Then there were those very first pictures you drew and gave to your mother to post on the fridge, which showed your obvious artist talent. One day you would become a well-known painter. Becoming a doctor may have been a real dream for you too.

If you were a baby-boomer and a female child, your dreams were often orchestrated early in life to take on a role as a teacher, nurse, secretary, or mother. The 50s were still very traditional. Sneaking into a man's world in the early days consisted of possibly building forts and having secret clubs. Otherwise you got caught up in tea parties and playing with dolls.

Girls who grew up in agricultural communities often had the opportunity to experience the "man's world" in a much more hands-on way. They learned how to drive tractors and grain trucks. They became volunteer veterinarians as they assisted in the calving process. But at the end of the day they were still preparing the meals and washing the clothes and tending the garden.

There is so much that has been written about the feminine movement away from the traditional lifestyles in the 60s and 70s. Activists like Gloria Steinem have been leaders in that movement. It is wonderful the changes that were made for all womankind at that time and continue to be made as a result.

Men who grew up in post World War II years were usually raised in a traditional manner too. Certain chores were deemed male, cutting the lawn, washing the car, etc. There was still women's work and men's work. Hunting was still acceptable and in some households it was almost a right of passage into male hood for a young teenager to bag his first deer.

If you were a baby-boomer and a male child, your dreams were often determined by the family history. You may have been groomed to take over the family business, or become a doctor or lawyer like your father. Maybe your family had generations of military leaders. Again, the expectations were there to continue on in the same career. In many industrial cities it was expected that you would go to work for the same company where your father had worked and eventually retire after 40 years, like your father. If your family was into farming, you would be expected to take the farm over one day.

Dreams were often set around careers and for a guy it was not who he was but what he did. Even if he chose to break away from the family traditions, there were still expectations around his male role.

Men and women both had a difficult time adjusting to a new way of thinking when female liberation became a strong movement. They were suddenly expected to raise their children as equals and tell them they could be and do whatever they wanted if life.

Whatever your lifestyle was growing up, you are now 60 years old or older. What were your real dreams as a young boy or girl or a young adult? If you haven't realized your dreams and want to, how are you going to start? How do you write your bucket list?

Write Your Story
I have chosen to share my story because I have found it is similar to many men and women's stories. What were my expectations earlier in my life before I reached the age of 60?

At 45, I planned to be young forever. My first marriage had just ended after 25 years and I was finding out who I was as a single woman. My children were grown and I was only accountable to myself, which was a scary situation in itself. I had gone straight from home to marriage after working in a sales job and then at a bank for 2 years. During my marriage I took part-time jobs and even had a couple of home-based businesses but they only supplemented the household income so my husband and I could take the occasional trip.

I returned to college and a year later began my first career working with children with disabilities in the school system. It was a wonderful position with long-term benefits.

I was so used to being married though that after two years in the singles market, I met a nice guy and got married again. That was not an intelligent move I realized after the fact. We were not the good match I thought we were at first, but by then I had left my career and moved to a tiny town on the prairies with my new husband. I did have the opportunity to learn a lot about farming and ranching during those days though. I also worked at a couple of different jobs as well as spending a lot of time writing.

It took 10 years before I knew the marriage was over. By then I was 55. I felt beaten, and as I licked my wounds, I hid away. I had to redefine who I was and prepare for the next few years.

That was definitely a time of reflection. My father was diagnosed with lung cancer for the second time and was given a year to live. My financial situation was very bleak and I didn't know what I was going to do career wise. I felt like a child again because suddenly I was being offered helped by my elderly parents. I had very little self-esteem left but couldn't bring myself to accept the help. I had distanced myself from close friends.
I had reached a very low point in my life and luckily my family doctor directed me toward a great counselor. He listened to my life story, asked me what I really wanted, and taught me some personal tools I needed to achieve my dreams. He determined that I was very visual and before long I had created my first visualization board defining who I was and what I wanted in my life.

That was in 2005. I still change my visualization board every 6 months or so. I have already accomplished many of the dreams I had on that first board.

Build A Personal Visual Board
1. Go out to your local dollar store and purchase a colorful sheet of cardboard.
2. Cut the sheet in half.
3. Collect a few magazines.
4. Cut out any pictures or group of words that makes you feel good.
5. Don't try to analyze why you cut out what you did.
6. Divide the 1st sheet into 4.
7. In the first corner, put pictures to do with home.
8. In the 2nd corner, put pictures to do with travel.
9. In the 3rd corner, put pictures to do with career.
10. In the 4th corner, put pictures to do with personal stuff.
11. As you look at each corner after you have it done (nothing is wrong - these are your dreams), write down any words that come to mind. This is a positive experience. If you find that there is a lot of negative on your board, you aren't ready and it might be a good idea to get some counseling first.
12. This is your 1st board and it's good for a month.
13. After the 1st month, put it away and build a 2nd visual board. This on will be good for 6 months.

If you aren't a visual person but you are an audio person, you can do the same with music. Record pieces of music into sections that describe who you are. After the 1st month, redo your selections. This will also be good for 6 months. Look at your visual board or listen to your audio board every day. Remind yourself that this is you and everything you see or hear, you deserve!

Once I got everything that was important to me on my visual board the next step was to begin setting my goals to accomplish the things on my board. It also meant considering a different way of thinking.

Daily Gratitudes
Have you ever sat down and compiled a list of what you are grateful for? I know what many people have said to me when I've asked them this question.
"My life hasn't been going well. I lost my job, I have overdue bills, etc. How can I possibly be grateful?"
I'm not saying it is easy to be grateful, especially at a time like that. I am saying you need to do some personal stuff to identify what is special in your life before you can realize your dreams.

Before you begin writing or speaking what's on your list though, take time to get comfortable. Take a few deep breaths and let them out slowly. Try and imagine if you could be anywhere right now, where it would be. Maybe it would be siting by a quiet stream, or walking by the ocean. Put yourself in that place. Think of what the breeze against your face feels like. What sounds would you hear? Can you smell anything?

After getting relaxed, allow your mind to wander. Think back to the experiences you have had recently, when you laughed last, when you went for a walk and enjoyed nature. Think of your children, family, friends, your pets and what they mean to you.

It may take you 10 minutes to compile your list the first time but each time you meditate the time it takes will get shorter.

Change Your Way Of Thinking
Even though you have read this article, it may be difficult to set your intentions because you have so many negative messages in your mind all the time.

"I want to lose weight but I don't have time to go to the gym."
"I want to go to Mexico but I'm broke."
"I want to date that new woman in the office but I don't think she would be interested in me."
"I want to buy a new car but it costs too much money."

Okay, you have come up with all the excuses for why things won't happen in your life. How about considering the opposite...... reasons things will happen.

Remember when you were a kid and were accused of daydreaming? Dreaming became something negative instead of something positive. That message is still with you if you don't realize what you would really like to do. So how can you change your way of thinking?

Learn to dream again. Start with 10 minutes a day and allow yourself to meditate. A good time is when you first wake up in the morning and you aren't fully awake. Your mind hasn't started to race with the day's events. Even if you have to set your alarm ten minutes earlier, do it! It will be the best ten minutes you ever gave yourself.

Write Your Personal Bucket List
This is a step-by-step way to do the final process and develop your own personal bucket list. I have used the process with teenagers at risk as well as people my age and all ages in between. The older you get, you realize that there is less time to accomplish all you wanted to do in life. The first step is to identify what is important to you.

1. Write all your dreams down from your visual board.
It's very important to write your dreams down on a list. Then you have the opportunity to look at it and read it on a regular basis. Post it on your calendar or mirror. Make sure it is something you see first thing every morning.
2. Determine which item on your list is most important for you to do first.
After making your list, determine the priorities. Write 1 next to the most important and 2 for the next most important, etc. Once you prioritize, your dreams actually start becoming goals.
3. Ignore others.
Remember, this is your wish list not someone else's! Try not to share the information because you may get feedback you don't want to hear!
4. Cut your list to 10 goals.
This is one of the hardest steps to take. You have your dreams, but what if your list is 3 pages long? Gradually go through them and draw a line through the ones that are least important AT THIS TIME or ones that aren't realistic. Also remove any that involve others directly. An example of this is "I plan to marry Henry by 2011" unless your real goal is to ask Henry to marry you.
5. Short-list to 5 goals.
This is a heart-wrenching move! Suddenly you are crossing off 5 of your dreams! It is difficult at first but as you go through the process, you realize what is most important to you to accomplish now.
6. Re-prioritize your list.
You may find by now that you have taken a number of important goals off your list that you thought were right up at the top. Re-number them again.
7. Determine your top goal.
This takes some real soul searching. I use the question, "If I knew I was going to die in 6 months, what would I do first?"
8. Start researching all the steps necessary to reach your goal.
If your top goal, for instance, is to visit Bali before you die, then you will want to find out all about the country, how you will get there, how much your budget needs to be, etc.
It all starts with realizing what your dreams are and then believing they will happen!

What does my "Bucket List" include? What are my top goals right now?

1. Travel
See Turkey, Thailand, Malasia, Bali, Great Britain, Egypt, and Vietnam.
2. Publish the history of my grandfather's early life.
3. Share many more special moments with my children and grandchild(ren).
4. Write on my blogs every day.
Writing is also part of my aging process. I have written about what has been and now I will write about what is, and what will be for me. I hope readers will add their reflections and stories by linking to this one of my blogs through their blogs. I want to leave a legacy as a baby boomer. I am writing as much as I can. I have my travel blog at http://www.traveltypes.blogspot.com/ and my personal blog www.sexyboomeradventures.blogspot.com. I also freelance.
5. Write an e-book and have it published.

The most important thing is to enjoy every minute of the rest of your life without any regrets. No matter what your life looked like before, you are finally free to do whatever you choose! Life begins now!

For more tools also check out http://www.lifedestiny.com/, and www.universalenergycoaching.com.

Interesting Reading
"The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne