Back to School: Curb Your Child's Anxiety

Does speaking the word "school" make your child cringe or cry? It is probably due to anxiety. It might be hard to believe that a child would be anxious about going to school. Even the most outgoing and social children go through periods of nervousness about going to school or heading back to school after a long break. Follow these tips to help your child cope with their anxiety or nervousness.

Acknowledge The Fear: Do not make the mistake of telling your child that their fear is not real or that it is misplaced. Acknowledge the fact that they are feeling this way and promise that you will help them feel better. As with everything in life it is your responsibility as a parent to console your child with their fears. To help your child understand that everyone feels scared or uneasy when in a new environment, offer how you felt on your first day at a new workplace or when you were faced with something new for the first time.

Address Separation Anxiety: When your child begins to tell you that they want to stay with them, this is a clear sign of separation anxiety. To tackle separation, explain to your child specifically what will happen when leave and where you will be when the day for them is over. Use specific words like, "I will drop you off at school and when you come home on the bus I will be standing right there (physically show them where you will be), waiting for you." This will give your child a sense of where to expect you and exactly when. If you are able to, join a social group such as library story time or playgroup to get your child use to being away from you.

Establish a Schedule: During long breaks from school, such as summer or winter break, we tend to become more laidback with schedules. This is a great time to slowly ease into a regular school-like schedule. Earlier bedtimes and earlier waking times are a great start. Also consider to have lunch and play time at the same time of day. Explain to your child that when they are at school, there will be specific times of the day when things happen. Also assure them that they will be told when they have something specific to do. By doing so, you will immediately eliminate the anxiety of not knowing when to do what.

Spend Time Together: Spending just a few minutes each day alone with your child will help them be reassured of your love for them. Young children do not necessarily understand why they have to go to school. The reason that they have to go to school will not matter if they know that you love them and that you're proud of them for this next step in their lives. If you are sending a child to school for the first time, visit your local library and pick books about going to school. A favorite is "Miss Bindergarten Gets Ready For Kindergarten."

Visit the School: If your child is off to kindergarten or a new school, call the school a week or two before the year begins and ask to take a tour or just walk around the premises. Most schools are preparing for the new school year a couple of weeks before and this is a great time to walk around and become familiar with the building. Ask someone to show you where the rooms are and show your child where the bathrooms are, and where they will eat lunch and have recess. Let them spend a few minutes on the playground and explore the area. Walking in on the first day of school will be easier if they know where to go and what to expect.

Buy School Supplies: Even if you don't have a supply list or if you're not ready to buy all of their supplies, buy a special item. Have your child go with you to buy their bookbag, lunch bag or even a special pair of school shoes. Anything specifically for their new adventure will help ease that anxiety into excitement.

Whether your child is starting school, transferring to a new school, or a returning student from break their anxiety or nervousness is real. There are things you can do to help them feel better about heading to school. Above all, reassure them that what they are feeling is real and justifiable, and you will help them feel more comfortable.

Personal Tip: My daughter's teacher told the parents at a before-school meeting that something special parents could do is give your child a kiss on their palm. Explain that this is a special kiss from you, and this special kiss cannot be washed away. This special kiss is with them all day and when they are feeling sad or miss you, they can place their palm on their cheek and feel your kiss.