Back to School Time for Exceptional Children

Well, I hate to say it but it's that time of year again: Back To School time! It can be a rough time of year for any child getting used to a new routine, a new classroom and teacher, new classmates or maybe even a new school. For our exceptional children, any or all of these new situations can be a bit scarier than for the average child and it can take just a bit more preparation.

In our house, getting Jaimie back into the swing of things starts at least two weeks before the actual day not only because we have to get the routine in place but also so she can prepare her entire body for what's to come. As we discussed last month, our little ones are more vulnerable to anxiety and worrying about situations than their nervous classmates simply by the extra supplies and/or assistance they need to make their year go smoothly.

But with a little extra preparation time, the ease into school time can be a breeze. Here are a few ways that may help:

(1) Use interactive ways to prepare: One way we help Jaimie with preparing for a new event, especially a big one like Grams coming for a visit or school, is to get a big erasable calendar where she can count down the days. These calendars, which can be found at any Staples or Walmart store, have huge squares to write in and are reusable because you use erasable markers. We have Jaimie either put an "X" on each day as they pass. Then as we get closer to the day, we write out each step of what we'll do the next day then rub them out as we do them. This is especially helpful for children who need routine to feel calm or worry. If it's all written down, she'll know what's coming and she can mentally prepare herself.

(2) Get them involved in the prep work: Have your child pick out a special outfit or item he can take to school and plan a celebration for that afternoon or evening, depending on how long the school day is. This will give him something to look forward to throughout his day if/when he feels a bit insecure. Also encourage him to participate in buying school supplies and let him help pick his materials. The power of choice not only helps boost his self-confidence he'll also be able to say, "I picked this cool stuff out all by myself-not my mom."

(3) Visit the school and classroom, if possible: Think of how much better you feel when you know ahead of time what's going to happen for a new event rather than going into it blind. At the end of Jaimie's school year, I arranged for her to meet her Grade One teacher and to check out her new classroom. Knowing little things ahead of time, such as where her classroom is, where she'll need to put her shoes/boots and where her hook/cubby will be gives Jaimie a sense of security.

If you weren't able to do this ahead of time try some of the following: (a) Try going back closer to the first day so that your child will have a chance to see how the classroom will look; (b) Take a walk through the halls practicing the routes she'll travel to the various classes; (c) If your child is going to a new school, be sure to enforce the message that she's not changing schools because people at the old school didn't want/like her. Sometimes our exceptional children have these anxieties but aren't able to tell us; (d) One thing we also do with Jaimie is do the morning routine a few days before the big day so Jaimie knows what to expect. We get up, get dressed, have breakfast, do Jaimie's sensory routine then load everyone up with our backpacks and walk over to the school. Jaimie is the sort of girl who needs to have that implanted in her mind so she holds the memory. It makes her feel more secure and eases her worry somewhat.

(4) Offer strategies, tactics and suggestions: One thing Jaimie's Kindergarten teacher did that really helped Jaimie's anxiety was creating a monthly schedule for each fun and exciting thing that would be going on. Then we were able to brainstorm on ideas to prepare Jaimie for situations/activities she'd struggle with or be uncomfortable doing. See if you can get a copy of a typical day's schedule so that you can prepare your child with our usual methods like social stories, visual schedules and discussions.

Another good idea, if you're able to meet with your child's teacher ahead of time, is going over your child's reactions, learning styles, favorite things, and what challenges and frustrates your child with the teacher, aide or any assistant who'll be working with her. If you have charts, tools or other strategies you use at home, offer a duplicate set for the classroom for consistency for your child. That is so important to keep the line of communication and the environments at school and home as close as possible. Another thing we did was took pictures of Jaimie's teachers, principal, music teachers and assistants so these people would be familiar to her on her first day.

(5) Make a scrapbook: Jaimie's teacher and TA prepared a little notebook for Jaimie that used both her love of reading and writing as a way to prepare her for the unknown or new. They called the book, "Jaimie's Book" and each time a new event came up, they created a little interactive story for her that they'd read to her each day up to the actual event. The word "plan" works really well with Jaimie because we all work together to create the best way for her to tackle any scared feelings she has about a situation and empowers her to come up with solutions. Make your own book using pictures, stories, favorite things and anything else he feels is important. He can even take it to school on his first day-age depending, of course-to share with his classmates.

(6) Play school: Going along with the idea of walking through the school routine a few days ahead, play school at home too! Go through typical school activities and routines. Keep them used to the feeling of "school" even if it's at home.

(7) Make sure your child's IEP is up to date: Make sure that the goals and accommodations listed are still relevant. Have your child's needs changed since your last meeting? Has she met some of the goals listed and is now ready to take on new challenges? Remember, you don't have to wait for an annual meeting - you can request an IEP meeting at ANY time. Also be sure that all other paperwork, such as any meetings or therapy sessions that occurred over the summer, are all in order, current and accessible. These things may be required for the IEP updates so making sure everything is at your fingertips eases a bit of stress on your end.

Back-To-School time can be a stressful time for all. But with a few strategies and preparations in place well ahead, getting back into the swing of things will go much more smoothly. Plus, a few strategies in place ahead of time can truly help to boost their self-esteem and self-worth. And that's the most important school supply to send them off with.