Back-Talking: Taming Your Child's Defiant Language

Sometimes as parents it can be difficult making it through the hours of the day when you find yourself dealing with a back talking child. Young children, toddlers especially, have it in their system it seems to be defiant and talk back to their parents. You may often find that your child has a frame of mind in which he or she is "the boss" around your home. They often do not want to obey when you ask something of them and such a routine can quickly become a difficult situation for any parent who is not sure of how to deal with the back talk.

Often, children will talk-back to their parents after being told "no" when they want something. This makes your child feel vulnerable, as if something important has been taken from them and they may retaliate with an emergence of negativity and bad attitude. In situations like these, it may be difficult but your best option is to simply ignore the things your child is saying. At this point you have already put your foot down on the issue and responding to your child's foul attitude is likely to add fuel to the fire or worse, have no effect at all. Save yourself the trouble of an extended argument as well as your child from the satisfaction of knowing that the back talk is getting to you by not even showing reaction to his or her attempts. Rather than viewing and reacting on your child's back talk as a blatant objection to your authority, by refraining from showing a response you are instead showing your child that your word is final, whether he or she is okay with that or not. Aside from that, who are you really trying to convince of your authority and control over a situation when you are consistently reaffirming your decision to your children? Maintaining your composure and standing firm in your statement will go a lot further in the long run.

Your children need to understand that you are the parent and that there are rules in which he or she must follow. Getting your child to understand and abide by these rules is likely to be a difficult task with a back talker. The best way to talk to your child is by maintaining eye contact with them at eye level and discussing it with them in a calm manner. Yelling at your child will not accomplish much, as communication and understanding are negatively impacted when anger is brought into the mix and will only teach your child that yelling is okay. Let your child know that you are going to explain things to them only one time, and it will be up to them to be able to remember it afterwards. Make it clear to them that if they are insistent on arguing your decision after you have explained it to them that they will find consequences to follow. If you do not set limits on your child's back talking your efforts of diminishing it will be slim. Remain firm in the ground rules that you set for your children and you will likely find that the attitude and arguments are greatly reduced.

Keep a close eye on the behavior that regularly surrounds your children. If your children are often seeing situations in which there is a wealthy supply of negativity and sarcasm going on, it completely stands to reason that he or she is going to pick up on these nasty behaviors. While you may not think now that these situations would influence your children, the reality remains that they are still learning about the world around them and everything they encounter on a daily basis registers in their minds as acceptable or non-acceptable. The best thing a parent can do in these times is to remove the child from the negative atmosphere. Ultimately, you will benefit much further in the long-term future if you are able to refrain from exposing your child from such situations.

As with anything you teach your child, stopping he or she from back talking is a process that will take time and a great deal of dedication. While it may be difficult now, it can only get easier if you are determined and focused on your solution. In the long run, your parenting techniques will pay off significantly.