Bad First Dates

Nothing is more disappointing than securing that first date with someone you hope will become special in your life, only to go out for the first time and find he or she was not what you hoped or expected. But, they can't all be winners. While an unsuccessful date is an uncomfortable experience at best, the good news is it can be a valuable learning experience that could lead us to that special person we are seeking.

The dreaded blind date, successful for a few people I'm sure, but I have heard some nightmare stories from some of my friends. I only went on one blind date in my life, and it was a disaster. I was 16, and I let my then best friend set me up with someone who was just "great." I recall thinking, if he is so great, why wasn't she interested in him? His first name was Craig, his last name escapes me, but the date began at the local mall where we all decided to meet. My friend came along with a date of her own. I spent the whole evening listening to this guy go on and on about how great my friend was(the friend who set us up), and he could not stop looking at her; I think we might have exchanged five words throughout the whole date. In addition to being tactless and rude, it was obvious from the beginning that he was interested in my friend, not me. I was fortunate to have driven myself, and was going to leave, but for some reason, my friend begged me to stay, so reluctantly, I agreed. I should have listened to the little voice in my head telling me to run like hell.

We had some dinner, and later went to my date's house where he proceeded to put a porno on for our viewing enjoyment. What a classy guy! Maybe he thought this would be a great icebreaker, or maybe he was wanting to have an orgy, I don't know. That was it for me! As I was making my exit, my friend was still pleading me to stay because she didn't want to be left there alone, and she didn't want to go home yet because "it was too early." My date looked at me and told me it was fine if I wanted to leave, matter-of-factly pointing out that I had the figure of a No. 2 pencil. I was nice enough to have refrained from telling him he looked like a skinny baboon, with McDonald's logo eyebrows that POWs could get lost in. However, after he made his observation, I told him anyway. I also asked him if he shampooed those eyebrows or merely crop-dusted them. This was when I left, which didn't please my best friend, but that was just too bad. One good thing about the evening-I was home by 10 PM, just in time to catch "The Twilight Zone." No more blind dates for me, I decided!

I am happy for people who have had successful blind dates. I do know a couple who ended up happily married. However, my blind date was such a blow to my ego, I simply never wanted to take another chance. Nothing is worse than watching your date ogle over your best friend. I happen to feel first dates are hard enough when you have already met the person, why make it even more awkward by letting someone else pick the person for you? If you let a friend set you up, make sure it is a good friend who has your best interests at heart.

Ever went out with that person who was obviously on the rebound, or getting over a recent break up and they absolutely could not stop talking about their ex? I have known many people who have went through this. One friend of mine told me he met this nice girl who was beautiful and smart, but once they were on their date, she kept pulling the conversation to her ex, discussing intimate details of their sex life, why they broke up, etc. I think I can speak for most people when I say this is incredibly rude and selfish. No one wants to hear about your ex on the first date! I am surprised by how often this one seems to happen.
Then, there is always the kind of bad first date when you find out you and your date have zero in common. I had this experience about five years ago, and it was unexpected and strange. I went to a live musical show and struck up a conversation during the break with one of the performers. I knew already from seeing him on stage that he was incredibly talented, and cute too, which never hurts. During our brief meeting he seemed intelligent and interesting and I was flattered and excited when he asked me out for a date.

It all went well at first, but when we got to the restaurant, I noticed he was extremely fussy with our waitress, complaining about the service, demanding "real" butter instead of the "fake oil spread," which he didn't even eat after the waitress made a special trip to get it for him. I felt sorry for the waitress because it was the busy dinner hour on a Saturday Night. It seemed to me that my date was being way too demanding.

Here's where it really went to hell. I found out my date was more than just your average history buff. Boy, did I find out! For three hours after dinner I listened to the particulars of George Washington's life, the most noble Kings and rulers, and more than I ever wanted to know about whale-gutting. Then, he started on politics, religion, abortion and wouldn't you know it, but he was straight-down-the-line for everything I disapproved of, and by now red flags were waving everywhere. All this time, I kept silent, until finally, he made me mad enough that I could hold my tongue no longer. I told him respectfully that I didn't agree with him at all, and could we please change the subject? I so hate politics anyway! But, he wouldn't let up. He kept rambling on and on, telling me why my opinion was wrong, and so forth for at least another two hours. Luckily, earlier on that date, he had taken me to another live show, and it was there that I met my future husband, of course I didn't know it then. So some good did come of it, at least. How's that for irony? It proved to me that everything does truly happen for a reason, even bad first dates.

I still see the guy every now and then. We are not friends, but we remain friendly. He is still single however, and I hate to say it, but I can certainly see why . It isn't fair to try to mold someone into your idea of right and wrong, while having no regard for their opinions just because they might differ from your own. I am not even sure he was aware of it, and for that, I feel sorry for him.

Bad dates are just bound to happen. It's a part of life, and I think it can actually help strengthen us and make us better, if not kinder people. It can also help you discover right way what you're looking for in a person. I didn't feel that way when I was younger. Mostly, I just wondered if I would ever meet a man who wasn't crazy? I am sure many men and women have asked that question over and over in their quest for that special person. All I can say is, be patient. I truly feel there is someone for everyone, even if it takes you a while to find them.