Bad Holiday TV Specials

There was a time when the holiday season meant wonderful, joyous Christmas specials on television. Yes, the regular TV shows would take a break and put on delightful tributes to the season. They don't do that much these days. Mainly because they ran out of ideas. And here's a collection of some of them:

Ted & Bill's Excellent Advent: Two dudes, trying to find the perfect Christmas presents for their girlfriends, travel through time disrupting events at Bethlehem, Charles Dickens' house and the North Pole.

A Christmas Corral: In Texas, a mean old varmint is visited by the ghosts of cowboys and cattle rustlers who were sent to teach him the true meaning of a Christmas on the prairie.

Santa Claus is Coming: A Christmas porn film.

It's a Wunderful, Wunderful Life: Lawrence Welk learns what Christmas would be like if he had never been born.

Dude, Where's My Sleigh?: An animated special in which a couple of elves have too much eggnog one night and lose Santa's sleigh.

Santa Claus Conquers the Jews: St. Nick finally gets the Hebrews to see the light, so to speak.

'Twas: Frank McCourt's Christmas memoir.

Ho, Ho, Ho: A mean old pimp is visited by three of his call girls one Christmas Eve. They teach him the meaning of Christmas. Featuring "Not-So-Tiny" Tim.

How the Grinch Embezzled Christmas: Ebenezer J. Grinch, the CEO of Christmas Inc., swindles the company out of millions, lays off the workers, and dupes the shareholders while his wallet grows three sizes. In the end, he gets appointed to a cabinet post.

Men are from the North Pole, Women are from the South Pole: John Gray and Dr. Phil team up to settle some holiday relationship problems.

The Home Without a Christmas Tree: They were Arabs, so we sicced Homeland Security on 'em!