Bad Idea!

OK guys..You will get a kick out of this! Another one of my bad ideas..yesterday!!!

So I was thinking I would cut out early, find my trainer and go running...I know ... I know....the crazy things your mind comes up with when you're trying to get fit..

So I change my clothes and head straight for the Beautiful..Hunk of a trainer I have...

Oh my luck !He has time..He'd love to run with me..(OK this guy thinks running is FUN..its not..And why did I ask him to run..?) He's very proud of the fact I want to run on my own.. But little does he know..I REALLY DON"T WANT TO RUN! But for some unforeseen reason..I got the urge... so we go to the area where the Marines on base... Now its late afternoon and I figure most people are at work...so we'll be alone ..Right?

WRONG! We pull up and there are MARINES everywhere...some PFT testing thing... I offer the thought that maybe we should hold off and go back to the gym and workout..

No way is this SLAVE driver of a trainer going to let me get out of this! No amount of begging..No amount of crying will save me..(OK I have stooped to that once or twice.) SO now I not only have to endure this thing called running..(why did I want to do this?) I know ..I know it was my idea...but now I have to do it in front of a billzzion Marines.. !!

I must have stupid written on my forehead!!

SO we do some stretching.. As I am stretching (I already hurt) I take a gander across the way to some Marines "stretching" Now I think to myself ..This might not be so bad after all! You should have seen those guys! OH my GOSH! HUNKS! I tell you! Bodies of Frinkin STEEL! As hard as I tired the trainer wouldn't let me stay and enjoy the view!!!

So off we go... You know he really should realize how stupid HE looks running backwards so he can watch me... one of these days my "I Dream of Jeanie"..Nose twist is going to work and he is going to fall flat on his ASS!

Any way while my super body trainer runs kind of backwards/sideways... (Hell I can't run in a straight line..He's such a show off!) I get the pace (hey even if it's slow it's a pace, OK) going and I think this isn't too bad.. That is until a group of six Marines come running along side of me...

Now ladies.. I know you can only visualize the hard bodies that were beside me... (I got to see them!) But think of Richard Geer in an Officer and Gentlemen...and you are with me... Try running (yes running not the slow pace..But the MARINES pace... cause these Marines are not going to pass my ass with out a little bit of effort!)

Now also try "sucking" it in.. ALL IN! And running... Believe me that's hard.. Cause if you ever ran you would know at some point you have to BREATHE!!!

Now these guys are great and believe me bodies like that can motivate you to run...hell they could motivate me to do anything!!! They were really sweet...telling me to come on and join them.. (Oh GOD why don't you spare me the embarrassment right now and just let me drop dead!) Now remember we are talking MARINES here..They run FRIKIN FAST! But hey I am not going to be defeated!

SO somewhere I got the motivation ( did I mention that they have on really ..Really short running shorts?) ..Yes now that's motivation....I ran... I mean really ran... I had to ..I didn't want to miss the Marines ASS in front of me..... When you're running looking at "ASS" it's a least a little rewarding!!!

Anyway After a while I had to breathe. AND you can't suck it in and breath and run... something had to give... so I held my breath just a little longer... Now my trainer..Is still doing that sideways/backwards thing...and is really pumped up that I am hanging with the big boys...he's yelling at me to keep it coming.. Reach to my toes for strength to go longer... REACH for my toes..? I have toes? Because I think I left them 1/2 mile back along with the legs I can no longer feel!!! Your not breathing he tells me.. Breaths...take breaths..... OK along with my legs being left behind..1/2 mile back.. I think you can find both of my lungs!!!!...

But somehow I took a breath.....or should I saw..Pant...pant....hard.... pant... like when you're having really hot steamy sex....and it takes your breath away....but there is nothing sexy about this!!!

The trainer says I should slow down a pace or two.. IS HE FRIKIN CRAZY!! WHO does MR TRAINER..Fancy sideways/backwards..Runner think he is.... And let this view go by...BACK OFF DUDE... BEFORE I TRIP YOU!!! LOOK INTO MY EYES!!! Cause your going down dude..If you don't get out of my way!!!! I run past the sideways/backwards man and am free to be with the guys!!!

Now I think I am MRS COOL!! AND THE VIEW ISN'T"T BAD EITHER!!! Then it happened.... the other group of MARINES come running by...it felt like a STAMPEDE....The race was on..That's all she wrote girls....cause the group of Marines I'm running with.. Are not going to let these Cadences singing Marines go by with out a fight... so there I am..Watching as ASS after ASS of Marines...goes drifting away down the path... along with my motivation....

And then it hit me... I'm going to die... My heart is racing so fast I think it will pop out of my chest!!! My legs are rubber.... and I can't get a breath!! I have NEVER gone this fast and this distance in my life... I can't believe I did that!! (Either can my body) MR sideways/backwards runner has caught up to me..And is yelling for me to S -l- O- W down... OK,,OK,, I tell him and I start to slow down...

He yaks about 'How great that was" that I went so far...and that I have really improved!!! Glad someone noticed!!!...and then he says...lets see if you can do that ALL THE WAY BACK!! ALL THE WAY BACK? I have to go back? He can't go get the car?????... I think to myself... right..Dude... If there are no MARINES ...it isn't happening....and I slowed down the pace ALL THE WAY BACK