Bad Neighborly Manners

What's the deal with manners anyway? Some might say you don't need to talk about them because it's obvious to most people...the rules of polite engagement are well defined and discussing manners is just plain rude. Speaking of rude behavior you might ponder in your mind's headline-scoping eye and say to some passerby out of frustration: "The idea of having rudeness assaulted by a herd of passive-aggressive liberal activists who think rudeness needs to be spoken of, well, that's the pinnacle of rudeness."

I suppose they forced us ALL to consider, forcefully, the intrusion of bad manners. Is there really no problem with rudeness in America...a look at media headline stories would seem to illustrate the lack of clarity of our respect for rules. For instance when you read about the "supposed" hubbub about invasion of privacy being discussed in print is it your perception the story has been created to find something to talk about: It's just the case of a bored writer filling space on a page. There's certainly a concern being expressed about rights or manners if you will in America by those crazy "Bill of Rights advocates."

Here are a few rude--or maybe you would say not-rude behaviors-- you should not engage in, but of course you be the judge.

Hanging Out In Trees
If you're a kid it's okay to be in a tree pretending to be surveilling like a soldier on a mission. Adults playing in trees is, however, more unusual. Tree trimmers get a free pass and can be in trees. Government agents should not be in trees. Also, grown up people pretending to be government agents shouldn't be in trees peeping on Tom as it were. Tom will write a story about you unless you are a partridge in a pear tree and are being misperceived--by the ever present herd of misperceivers-- as a peeper.

Planting Microphones
Planting microphones that look like plants--what tv show was that?-- is a no-no. Also microphones that look like lamps and appliances--and get their power supply by your actions or by you using the appliance--are a no-no. I think it was on the NBC television show "The Office" where I saw a segment on microphones...they, generally, do shows that deal with the subject of manners. Steve Carell is a poster boy for unperceived rudeness: "The Office" could be called "Missed Manners."

Aiming Stereo Speakers
Pointing stereo speakers in the direction of your neighbor for the purpose of annoying them is a no-no. If you're trying to make the acquaintance of your neighbor a cake will do as a gesture of kindness. The hierarchy on noise is fairly clear. Being a goon by pointing earth-shaking music at your neighbor is on the bottom of the list for polite courtesies.

Projecting Images
The habit some people have acquired--perhaps in a military training class--of projecting images at people is rude outside a war theater. Actual battlefields would be more amenable to the behavior of pointing annoying videos or slide shows to disturb your battlefield opponent...I'm not an "opponent." I don't have an actual video projector in my house, but I know how annoying it would be to point it at my neighbors in a sly attempt to sell them a product, for instance, by covering their path with a series of commercials about something.

Satellite Monitoring
Monitoring someone's movements--in their house--by using infrared heat detection technology is a rude behavior which is magnified on a rudeness gage by people's knowledge of how expensive it is to do. My satellite--of course I'm joking, I don't have a satellite--is very expensive to operate and the manpower required to run it is astounding. You could say you need an army of people to appropriately utilize it. There's a funny word--"appropriately." Do people really need to make jokes about this very intrusive idea. Do you ACTUALLY have a satellite to monitor people with? What television writer thought THAT was funny?

Looking Back
Amy Vanderbilt would have a tough time with satellite-monitored tea parties as would Miss Manners. They would not consider the intervention with all the techniques I mentioned above as an honest difference of opinion. Local police don't need to have any of the aforementioned tactics at their disposal to establish civilian rules of conduct. Television shows in 2010 are full of phrases that remind us of rudeness.

Is the idea of men in trees really amusing? From one through five how do you rate the behaviors I described on a rudeness scale? Would you actually tolerate ANY of these behaviors in your neighborhood? I don't like Big Brother acting like that at all!

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