Banning Gay Marriage: The Demoralization of Homosexuals

Several months ago, my cousin Terri had a beautiful wedding in England. She currently lives there with the woman she plans to spend her life with, Tammy, and is separated from the rest of her family members. Terri would love to someday move back to the United States with her spouse and reunite with the family members she only sees once a year (if that.) However, Terri and Tammy face a devastating obstacle that the majority of the American population cannot understand: Arriving in the United States terminates the legality and stability of their marriage.

It seems ridiculous, that human beings of no other distinction than sexual preference are denied the right to a legal and sacred commitment. It appears as if homophobic Americans are waiting for homosexuals to ignore their true identity, marry a person of the opposite sex, and accept that being heterosexual is the "right thing to do." It is hard to believe that racism and sexism are now not accepted and punishable by law in today's society while it is still debatable whether homosexuals deserve to be treated as equals. In "Same-Sex Marriage: Pro and Con," Andrew Sullivan discusses the moral issue at hand, as the nature of homosexuality itself is questioned. "Very few people argue that because a person is black, he or she is for that reason incapable of the moral and civil responsibilities of marriage. With homosexuality, of course, that is precisely the issue" (27).

A misconception from protestors of gay marriage is the belief that to be homosexual is to choose to take part in immoral activities. There is no choice made, it is an identity gay men and women are born with. In actuality, families are torn apart by gay husbands and wives pretending to live a "normal" heterosexual lifestyle. Divorce can be a traumatic experience for a child; it is undeniable that a child is better off being raised in a loving, stable home than in one torn apart by deception. If that child's loving parents are two adults of the same sex, so be it. Protestors believe that straight men and women are the only people capable of providing a stable environment and raising children successfully. Assuming that marriage is reserved only for couples wanting to raise children, the moral capabilities of heterosexuals should also be scrutinized. A mother and father figure is not the only necessary factor in a happy home. Furthermore, the denial of marriage should be extended to all those unable to have children, not just gay and lesbian couples. According to Dan Savage's ideas in "Same-Sex Marriage Wins by Losing" it is unrealistic to think that most people consider their contribution to the human race as a reason to get married, much less making it the sole requirement of their lifelong commitment.

Many arguments against gay marriage are downright demoralizing and coldhearted. In "Gay Marriage: Why Would It Affect Me?" the legalization of same-sex marriage is actually considered as appalling as a man marrying his donkey, a relative, or a child. It should be required that people are educated more on the subject of homosexuality; perhaps that would prevent the formation of irrational and outrageous arguments such as these. This article also talks of the high financial cost of accepting gay marriage. Social Security will be negatively impacted, and taxes will be raised in order to provide health care and benefits for the millions of new dependents. This prediction suggests that a percentage of human beings should be denied their right to the institution of marriage so the United States does not have to spend extra money. The morality of homosexuals is questioned; yet what about the morality of people with such homophobic ideals? One cannot say that sacrificing the well being of gays and lesbians to ensure the value of life and stability for heterosexual men and women is showing any sort of compassion for the human race. According to Scott Bidstrup's "Gay Marriage: The Arguments and the Motives," right wing religious organizations continue to promote the misconception that homosexuality is all about sex. This leads people to the theory that gay men and women are lacking any sort of values or moral code. The reality is that all men and women, straight or gay, are capable of having purely sexual relationships devoid of love and affection. There is also no difference in the abilities of heterosexual and homosexual relationships to be committed and based on companionship and love.
The percentage of people in the United States who are close to or know a gay person is growing larger by the minute. It is only a matter of time before Americans begin to understand the true meaning of equality, and learn to look past the negative stereotypes that surround those contrasting with what is "normal." The insulting and demoralizing arguments against legalizing gay marriage are merely desperate attempts from those disgusted by homosexuality to prevent the nationwide acceptance of gays and lesbians into our society. It is not a disease that can be cured, or something that can be hidden and changed over time. A person's character and values cannot be defined by their sexual orientation. By nature we are all flawed, but loving someone of the same sex is not a flaw. It is simply a different way of life that needs to be understood.

Works Cited

Bidstrup, Scott. Gay Marriage: The Arguments and the Motives. 19 March 2008 www.bidstrup.com/marriage.htm>.

"Gay Marriage: Why Would It Affect Me?" NoGayMarriage.com. 18 March 2008 www.nogaymarriage.com/tenarguments.asp>.

Savage, Dan. "Same-Sex Marriage Wins By Losing." New York Times on the Web 30

July 2006. 18 March 2008 30savage.htm>.

Sullivan, Andrew. Same-Sex Marriage: Pro and Con. New York: Vintage Books, 1997.