Barack Obama, Dick Cheney, and Me

My cousin, Phil, is an avid genealogist, attending every Dillman Family function imaginable. He has a collection of historical data that includes pictures of our great-great Cherokee grandmother, along with books written by Dillmans, photographs of distantly related Dillmans, and photograph albums filled with pictures of our immediate family. His spread of memorabilia grows with each year and with each family reunion he joins.

Several reunions ago, Philip and his mother - my Aunt Glenda - made an announcement. His searching unearthed a link between the Dillmans and somebody famous. We already knew about Bradford Dillman, the actor, who was invited to, but never attended, our family reunions after Philip discovered our familial connection. But we were unprepared for the new information that spilled out of my cousin's mouth.

While the Republicans cheered gleefully, the Democrats and uncommitted members of our family rolled their eyes. We are, he announced, related to Vice President Dick Cheney. A chart showing the actual lineage was irrefutable. There it was in black and white. We were distant cousins to the famous, and sometimes infamous, vice president.

Several years later, after Ellen DeGeneres invited Barack Obama to appear on her show, and he accepted her nomination, I mean invitation, I watched our presidential candidate with curiosity. Among some of the more entertaining antics, such as Barack Obama dancing, and Barack Obama reading, was the information he delivered - that he was related to Dick Cheney.

Is everybody related to Dick Cheney, I wondered?

I guess it all goes back to Adam and Eve. Or maybe the Atom split the day into Evening and Morning. Whatever. Adam and Eve were obviously multi-colored human beings whose two male children, Cain and Abel, fought for dominion. Cain won, after killing his brother, leaving only one member of the male species to populate the Earth.

Women were so inconsequential back then, I'm surprised Eve was even mentioned, but somehow (I don't judge) the Earth became populated with a variety of colors and ethnicities.

In conclusion I have deduced that, like it or not, yes, we are all related to Dick Cheney.