Barack Obama Top 10 Bloopers of 2009

This is the Barack Obama Top 10 Bloopers of 2009 list, a complement and follow-up to my Top 10 Obama Failures of 2009 list. The Barack Obama Top 10 Bloopers of 2009 list is exclusively related to unflattering moments that the man caused for himself by his own bumbling; the latter list was strictly policy critiques. Due to the popularity of the failures list, I now bring to you a compilation of Obama humiliating himself all throughout 2009; in these ever-darkening times of non-stop deficits, double-digit unemployment rates, and attempted terrorism, laughter at the expense of Obama is among the best of medicines.

Number 10:

Obama caught "checking out" a 16-year-old's derriere!

The setting: G8 summit in Italy. The time: A photo-op with junior (junior being the key word here!!) G8 delegates. The "victim": 16-year-old, little lass Mayora Tavares who, I'm betting, woke up that day not expecting to be "checked out" by a 47-year-old, middle-aged president!! Just think, all she expected was getting her picture taken, but then, Obama's "wandering eyes" had to prey on her. For shame, Mr. Obama...for shame!!

Number 9:

Obama's beloved and trusty teleprompter smashes to the floor!

During his obstinate defense of his now-proven-unsuccessful "stimulus plan," one of Obama's many teleprompters-to which he trusts his life-crashed to the floor and broke. Proving what a gifted wordsmith he is who never disappoints with a witty remark to make everyone feel at ease, Obama "smoothly" responded with the ever-slick "Oh, goodness," like he's 90-years-old and easily upset by the smallest things. Then...he began to...apologize...to the mayors and urban policy experts in his audience. Seriously.

Number 8:

Obama gets confused and is lost when he gets ahead of his teleprompter!

During a speech at the National Academy of Sciences, Obama begins naming the members of the President's Council of Advisors on Science and Technology before...hee, hee...realizing that he'd already...wait for it...wait for it...introduced them earlier in his speech! Hahaha...hohoho...heeheehee! Hilarity ensues when a blatantly embarrassed and discomforted Obama has to explain this and demand that the teleprompter be scrolled to its proper place. Oh, Mr. Obama, you're just like Screech from Saved by the Bell.

Number 7:

Obama departs from his obligatory, presidential etiquette and calls Kanye West a "jackass!"

Remember that time at the MTV Video Music Awards when Kanye West upstaged the poor, little miss, Taylor Swift, when she had won an award, thereby forever shattering her fragile, teen self-confidence and possibly making her afraid of men called Kanye for the rest of her little life? Well...not content to let a blooper opportunity pass him by, Obama says that West was a "jackass" for doing so, not aware that the camera was on. While he may be correct, doesn't Obama know that it's not presidential to stoop to using such language and commenting on such a frivolous story. Geeeez, Mr. Obama, takes one to know one, right?!

Number 6:

Obama doesn't know the difference between a window and a door!

In the first month of his presidency, Obama wasn't quick enough to get used to his new White House surroundings-You just can relate to how difficult it is to memorize where everything is can't you? Here's the door, and the floor, and the windowsill, and then the toilet over yonder!-and so tried to enter the White House through a paned window instead of a door a few feet away. You know, you wouldn't believe how many times that's also happened to me...I mean windows and doors look so similar you can't tell them apart sometimes, you know? C'mon, Mr. Obama, that easily is more shameful than anything Bush ever blundered with!

Number 5:

Obama shows callous insensitivity to the handicapped by making fun of the Special Olympics!

Ahhh, the Special Olympics, a time-honored tradition that shows us all that even the handicapped can excel if they just put their mind to it...and, of course, only compete in competition with other handicapped people, not people without disabilities themselves. Obama, apparently, wasn't feeling very respectful of the honor behind said "olympics," and made a callous, casual joke at the expense of handicapped people everywhere on the Tonight Show, when he compared his bowling skills to being handicapped. Smooth there, Mr. Obama...really smoooooooth...not!

Number 4:

Obama gives Queen an Ipod though she already has one!

Upon meeting Queen Elizabeth II for the first time, you want to make a decent impression at least, I'm guessing. So what does the Anointed One do? Why, Obama gives her a lame Ipod when it already turns out that she already had an Ipod herself! Ha-take that, Obama! Just like many of his policies, Obama's plan to impress the Queen fizzled and died out. At least this time, he didn't creepily check out the Queen's derriere as he did with that 16-year-old, little miss in Italy, right?! Am I right, or am I right?

Number 3:

Obama gives England's Brown lame DVDs that don't even work on English DVD players!

When you're the American president, you want to treat the PM of your country's oldest, most trusted ally with the dignity and respect he deserves, no? So, if your name happens to be Barack Obama, what do you do? Why...get England's PM Brown a bunch of lame DVDs that he could order off of Netflix himself...that's what! Duh! Oh, and did I mention...the lame DVDs didn't even play in English DVD players, so Obama actually made a fool of himself twice in one action!

Number 2:

Obama disrespects all cops when he calls the arrest of his Harvard professor friend "stupid!"

What better way to show that law enforcement is a noble calling and the men and women in uniform some respect than by calling a high-profile arrest by a policeman as having acted "stupidly." Yup, that comment of anti-police sentiment sure is going to make many young black men who look up to Obama trust the police more and work with them more in the future...not! Despite the fact that the Harvard professor in question did act in a way that made it appropriate for the cop to arrest him, Obama just goes with his liberal, gut instinct of police hatred and lets his mouth shoot off. I wonder what Obama would say about the Rodney King incident?

Number 1:

Obama's reaction to the Fort Hood massacre!

When the Islamic terrorist, Major Hasan, killed many soldiers in the Fort Hood massacre, the country looked to Obama-as it often does in times of national shock-for leadership, or at least to strike the right tone in his response. But what did Obama, the professional blooper artist, do instead? Instead, Obama proceeded to inconsiderately ramble on for three minutes and give shout-outs to an honoree of the Tribal Nations Conference before making remarks even addressing the massacre! What the hell was that?? You know what? That wasn't a blooper at all! That was an unpardonable outrage that should've been condemned by every American who heard of it!!

There you have it! What does everyone think of this list? The sad thing is there's only room for 10 bloopers, but Obama's could go on forever.

To send Marc questions, praise or criticism, you can email him at marc_schenker@telus.net

Sources:

Rita Pereira, Barack Obama Checks Out Girl's Booty - Mayora Tavares Photos, BumpShack

Matthew Shaer, Obama's teleprompter hurls itself to an untimely end; the world reels, CSMonitor

Jimmy Orr, Obama's teleprompter commits mutiny during major science speech, CSMonitor

Matthew Weaver, Listen to Obama call Kanye West a "jackass," Guardian

Liisa O'Neill, Hey Bam, That's not the door!, NY DailyNews

Jocelyn Vena, President Obama's "Special Olympics" Joke Lands Him In Hot Water, MTV News

David Saltonstall, President Obama gives Queen Ipod loaded with videos, Broadway Tunes, NY DailyNews

Obama's Blockbuster Gift for Brown: 25 DVDs, FoxNews.com

Robert A. George, Obama's "Stupid" Response on Gates, NBC

Robert A. George, Obama's Frightening Insensitivity Following Shooting, NBC