Barney the Dinosaur Meets the Big Bad Wolf

The Big Bad Wolf was starving. He was roaming the forest in search of food.
"Gee, can't even find a good, juicy pig these days." All of a sudden, out of the sky, came Barney the Dinosaur.

"Well hello, are you feeling super-de-duper?"

"Who the hell are you?" huffed the Big Bad Wolf.

"Why I'm Barney the Dinosaur. I'm here to cheer up your day."

"Do you have a leg of lamb? Perhaps a side portion of pigs feet?"

"No," responded Barney. "I just have laughter, fun, and song."

"Look," said the Big Bad Wolf. "I can't eat laughter, fun, and song. I'm hungry. I'd eat you right now, but I can't digest foam."

"Well, I'm not made of foam. I'm..."

"I don't care. I'm busy looking for my next meal."

"How about a nice bowl of oatmeal?"

"Are you crazy? Why would I want to eat oatmeal? Yuck! I want meat."

Barney thought for a moment. "I have an idea. How about some liver with onions?"

"How about a fist up your purple hide? Get out of here and leave me alone."

"Gee, you don't seem too happy to see me. That's a shame. How about giving me a nice big hug?"

The Big Bad Wolf was about ready to blow his top. "For the last time Purple Head, get out of my forest. I'll huff and puff and blow your purple carcass clear across the other side of the forest."

Barney just smiled when he heard the Big Bad Wolf's threat. "Let's sing the song, I love you. You love me. We're as happy as..."

"Ahhhhh! Enough! Stay where you are and close your eyes."

Barney closed his eyes for a few seconds. When he opened them, the wolf was gone. "Too bad," said Barney. "He left before I could give him this plate of pork chops and mashed potatoes. Oh well, guess I better go and see how Baby Bop is doing."

Barney vanished from the forest. The Big Bad Wolf went deeper into the forest in search of food. And me, Little Red Riding Hood, I never did get to Grandma's place. I went to Taco Bell instead. The End.