Basement and Dankness: A Movie Review

Writer: Ewen Glass.

After watching director Asham Kamboj's Basement, this reviewer now knows what medieval times were like, when subjects would protest the king. The iron maiden or the rack would almost be a better alternative to watching this seventy-six minute film drone on about nothing in particular. Yet, the show must go on.

Paperknife Productions is the creator behind Basement and this is their only production. If they were relying on this film for profits, then this newly created cynic can see bankruptcy in this company's future. Revolver Entertainment UK, which is known for better film fare like Dead Man Running, JCVD and the upcoming Iron Sky made a misstep here, by distributing this truly farcical cinema. This film launched in the UK August 23rd on DVD and Blu-Ray, after a brief showing in theatres August 20th. Much like an unfinished basement, this film is one which could have used a lot more love and attention.

The notorious straight-to-DVD actor Danny Dyer plays Gary, a tentative anti-war protester who has some big shoes to fill. His father died in the second Iraq War and now Gary lethargically pines for a new world order. After the latest demonstration, Gary and his four friends: Derek (Jimi Mistry), Sarah (Kierston Wareing), Pru (Emily Beecham), and Saffron (Lois Winstone) pull over to the side of the road for a piddle and some idle chat. The dialogue never breaks away from the mundane, but thankfully some conflict occurs when Gary finds the entrance to an abandoned bunker. The next fifty minutes involve said friends wandering around a maze of corridors to no one's satisfaction.

This film is truly remarkable for not offering viewers the barest of entertainment value. Sure there are no technical flaws, but even a monkey typing on a keyboard will eventually spell out a word or two. Director Kamboj is simply out of his league in the production. His former credits only include short films and Basement is not a film he will likely put on his resume. As well, characters do their best to dramatize their dialogue before being offed by ninja garbed assassins; however, why should one care when their characters have not been given even a solid minute of development? The answer is: you should not care.

In fact, Basement will likely leave viewers thinking thoughts like when is something going to happen, or did I already see this scene and the eventual - when will this film end? The only thing outstanding about this film is the eventual fall-off-the-cliff ending, which, if you make it here, will leave you with a groan and an eye-roll. This film critic will not even mention the outcome, because it is simply too silly.

Basement is currently on this reviewer's top ten worst films for 2010 and this movie is currently in a very competitive spot for the number one position. Only the puke themed Slaughtered Vomit Dolls might unseat Basement's rise to the top spot. Currently, there are no plans to bring this film to North America and this is something to be thankful for! Boring, amateurish and full of silly conventions, Basement is best left as storage space.

Plot/story/closure: 5 (there was no plot and the ending was brutal).
Characters/action/interaction: 5 (unlikeable due to the writing, shallow, one-dimensional).

Overall: 5 out of 10 (remember this is the lowest score possible for a film which utilizes the basics of filmmaking: lighting, sound, and camera).

Here is the film's homepage if you are a sadist:

Basement's Official Website

At Revolver:

Basement at Revolver