Battle

When I finally decide to close my eyes and battle the thoughts of pain and hurt that try to steal sleep from me

I'm always aware that I am not alone

On one side of me lies hope, the hope that dreams with me and has a permanent residence in the back of my mind,

that teases me with glimpses of magic and safety I long for

On the other side lies doubt, the doubt that is awake with me throughout the day, that keeps me grounded and warns me not to expect the beauty and warmth I want so badly

On the edge of battle they wait and I am the battleground, which will give in first, which will surrender

both experience, strength and stamina, far more the me

If hope succeeds-how many times will I be hurt

If doubt wins-then what will I fail to try

Every night, every hour, every minute, ever second the enemies pull each other back and forth and back and forth

Somewhere deep in the night, waiting silently, feasting on the ignorance of the two, growing and planning its victory, always a master of disguise and skilled at the game

Fear knows exactly when and how to let go and then to take you back again.

Fear controls all of the hope, Fear controls all of the doubt

Soon they both must bow to it's crown and accept defeat

but yet each night they take what they've fed on throughout the day and use it once again to try and gain control of me only to succumb inevitably to the power of the master, Fear