Battle of the Characters: Super Smash Bros

Bowser, Mario, and Luigi are watching their children beat up each other on TV.

MARIO: Ha! Baby Mario just kicked Baby Bowser's butt!!

BOWSER: So, my son is going to... yes! I knew he used his firebomb.

LUIGI: Hey where's my son?

MARIO: You never had one.

LUIGI: Oh yeah.

MARIO: Hey look! Baby Bowser was just thrown off the arena by... LINKS SON!! Link never got married!!!

BOWSER: Yes he did he got married to that princess Ruto.

MARIO: How do you know?

BOWSER: I had to know all of the princesses in order to capture them.

MARIO: that's right.

BOWSER: Hey I've got an idea!!

MARIO: What?

BOWSER: Let's gather up all of our friends and enemies and have battle of the characters!!

MARIO: WHAT!! I'm too old for that I'm like what 1000 years old? I have no teeth I have wrinkles everywhere and I can't even lift up my own drink!

BOWSER: Then we will train.

MARIO: Fine go ahead and try to kill me again

BOWSER: Luigi how about you?

LUIGI: I've only got two words to say, bring it on!

MARIO: That's three words

LUIGI: I knew that.

(One month later)

Training session

BOWSER, LUIGI, MARIO: All right troops you are now engaged in the battle of the characters. No this is not Super Smash Bros. Because we are not going to fight until someone falls off the arena three times. That's for sissies we are going to fight until you start crying like a baby running out of the arena once.

ALL TRAINEES: SIRS YES SIRS!

MARIO BOWSER LUIGI: Let us all run a mile.

PIKACHU: Pika Pika Pikachu.

YOSHI: Does anyone understand what the heck he is saying?

MARIO LUIGI BOWSER: Begin.

(Everyone takes one step)

LINK: ow my back!

KIRBY: Well at least you have a back you old coot.

GANONDORF: My parents wish I had never been born.

BOWSER: were going to need some work.

(Three months later)

BOWSER: all right lets try this one more time, run a mile.

(Three seconds later)

ALL: done

BOWSER: Its time

ANNOUNSER: Hello and welcome to the battle of the characters 3000!

GUY WITH THE FLAG: GO!

BOWSER: RRRRRROOOOOOOOOAAAAAAARARRRRRRR!!!!!!!

MARIO: It's me Mario!

LUIGI: WO WO!

PIKACHU: Pika Pika Picachu!

YOSHI: I still don't understand what he's saying.

CYNDAQUIL: QUILLLLL!

GANONGORF: HA HA HA!

LINK: HIYAH!
A CHICKEN: Bacok!!

ALL: What! A chicken! Oh well.

KIRBY: SUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKK!!!!!!

SAMUS: Let's do this.

LINK: Hey Bowser watch your back CLING!! Too late.

BOWSER: Owwwwww!!!!!!! My butt!!

KIRBY: SUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKK!!! GULP! I got Bowser's flaming ball of flame.

BOWSER: Not anymore. STOMP! I'll take that. Flick.

ANNOUNSER: OUCH!!! And Kirby is disqualified for being flattened and for being flicked out of the stadium!

GANONDORF: I will use my ugliness power! Look at my face!

YOSHI: AHHHHH!!! IT BURNS!! I CANT SEE!

LINK: Than you won't be able to see my bombs!!

YOSHI: What? BOOOOOMM!

ANNOUNSER: and Yoshi is blown up out of the field never to see again.

CYNDAQUIL: Cynda SHROOOOSHH

LINK: Uh Oh! SHROOOSHH! AHHH!

ANNOUNSER: Going going gone! Home run!

SAMUS: BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

BOWSER: You call that a weapon?

(He grabs Pikachu)

BOWSER: This is a weapon Tickle Tickle Tickle

PIKACHU: CHUUUUUUUUUU!!!

SAMUS: Wahhhhhhhhhhh!

PIKACHU:Pi Pi Pi Pi

BOWSER: Awww, Better throw him out now before he gets any more useless.

PIKACHU: PIKA!!!! SHOOOOOFFF PLOP

ANNOUNSER: and there goes Pikachu and Samus!

GANONDORF: I use my magic against you.

MARIO: Not if my brother and me can help it.

LUIGI: Lets go.

MARIO: WAIT!

LUIGI: What? PZZZZZZZZZOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!!

MARIO: For that. Okay it is up to me. Wayah hoo hoo

GANONDORF: OOOHHHHFFFFF!! I want my mommy waaaaaaaaa!!!!!

MARIO: wow. I didn't think he was the crying type.

ANNOUNSER: Now it's just the two biggest enemies in the history of gaming and that chicken.

BOWSER: It's just you and me.

MARIO: and the chicken.

BOWSER: Right.

CHICKEN: Bock Bock Bock.

MARIO: Look behind you.

BOWSER: Huh?

MARIO: HIIYYAAAAHH!

BOWSER: Knew that was coming time for the flaming flame tube RROOOAAAARRR!

MARIO: WAHHHYAH POW! BURN! HURT! KICK! BOCK! ROAR! STOMP! PUNCH!

ANNOUNSER: as soon as the fog clears up we will see the champion. And the champion is... THE CHICKEN!!!!!!!!! OHHH MY GOODNESS THE CHAMPION IS THE CHICKEN!!!! He will be awarded with the trophy later thank all of the participants of this scorching match and we will hope to see you again soon bye!!

(Back in front of the TV Mario Luigi and Bowser are in casts watching their sons beat each other up again)

BOWSER: Lets never do that again.

MARIO LUIGI: Agreed!

BOWSER: Ive got an idea!! Lets all race in little karts that we can hardly fit in!!

MARIO LUIGI: Not again.

THE END