Bayonetta Bears it All!

No, this is not some new-age porno-even if the root of this sexist masterpiece revolves around a scantily clad heroine.

Lil Miss Librarian

Platinum Games, the minds behind Viewtiful Joe and Devil May Cry, mixed their two best sellers into one mash-up. The end result was Bayonetta: an amnesiac, a witch, a ten-star hottie, one who isn't afraid to strut her assets and apparently likes to wear her own hair. While the latter may raise many-an-eyebrow, it does prove itself a gimmick worth mentioning-along with the fascinating way Bayonetta likes to wear her guns.

Drool, Fanboy

The visual stylings of Devil May Cry with its pseudo-anime character design is just what the doctor chose to represent the fantasy world of Bayonetta. There are witches, angels, a God named Jubileus and a convoluted plot(as prescribed) sets just a pinch more depth than Bayonetta's cleavage. Proportions aside the story does have an original plot which coyly redirects our attention from the typical black and white world of good versus evil, even going as far as to break the mold with a main character that might just be our first true taste of an anti-heroine.

Add to this a Gothic, Roman or even Grecian backdrop accompanying each verse-Bayonetta's equivalent of chapters-the world of Bayonetta turns from just out of ordinary to epic.

Make Mine a Double

A game of this caliber needs more than just a pair, it needs two! That's right. Four handguns to make a girl feel special while spanking her heavenly pursuers. Two for the hands and of course two for those six inch stilettos that make those legs go on forever.

How she manages to squeeze the trigger on the handguns attached to her heels is a mystery but the game designers do like to point out just how she likes to squeeze her glutes, spread her legs and force her private parts against her nemesis's face. If that sounds like a sexual innuendo, then you're in the right place.

Every lengthy cut scene accompanying each turn of the map involves a dose of TnA, a lollipop (Hint: Press the button corresponding to the color of the lollipop), and superb voice acting that truly makes you appreciate well budgeted productions.

How Many Licks Does It Take?

Bayonetta also has some death kill moves in her arsenal, along with a trademarked "Witch Time" which slows down time after avoiding a close call. When going up against some of the larger inhabitants of Heaven, Bayonetta will deliver the killing blow with a Climax-that being the body suit of hair transforming into some killer, demonic entity that does the work for her. As expected, this does leave her fairly vulnerable in the fashion department; should have packed a second suit.

The Con List

Bayonetta loses points when it comes down to the root of the character design. One of the main things discussed by character designer Mari Shimazaki and game creator Hideki Kamiya was that the sexy billboard that is Bayonetta needed a pair of glasses to look mysterious and intelligent^[1]. Given the dialogue, a player is left feeling that this heroine is anything but smart, even if she is given life by a posh and British voice. Some stages feel unbalanced, suddenly setting up for your death no matter which way you turn. The storytelling lacks focus, being scattered and sometimes leaving you feeling like none of it has any bearing on Bayonetta's life.

At one point or another the originality of this game can be questioned in terms of how it feels and plays just like Devil May Cry. While that's expected given the team behind the project, the second blow comes in the form of a less-successful Japanese title bearing a female protagonist in a black outfit plus a heavy gun: Bullet Witch.

She Makes Me Laugh

On the negative side, Bayonetta consists of the type of humor that is more appreciated in the far eastern shores of Japan, much like its overbearing leading lady. The script is comical enough to be taken seriously(like the best of the Three Stooges) and the insane, unrealistic, gravity-defying moves that Bayonetta pulls off in jaw dropping real-time cinematics do a mean job of lassoing you in-not to mention keeping you on a tight leash.

Hell has a stake, Heaven wants revenge and Bayonetta just wants to savor her Dumdum while trying to recall her forgotten past. The cast and crew that introduce themselves as allies and neutral parties tend to be unlikely sources of entertainment instead of being a nuisance. Add to this the miracle of tight leather outfits plus every archetype of dress-up porno known to fan boys and we may just have a new franchise for the next decade.

Interactive objects, context sensitive moments, a shopkeeper willing to go to Hell(literally) to get you your next set of boom sticks, responsive controls and an actually working third-person camera made even the obvious lack of self-respect on Bayonetta's part worth ignoring for the sake of fun-high replay value not withstanding. With three difficulty modes to choose from, two more to unlock(Non-Stop Unlimited Climax anyone?), hidden Sega Classic soundtracks and a helping of secrets^[2] make Bayonetta more than just a one-night stand-she's a keeper.

Sources:

^[1]http://platinumgames.com/2009/04/17/designing-bayonetta/ Mari Shimazaki, April 17, 2009

^[2]http://www.gamefaqs.com/console/xbox360/code/946346.html Various, 2009-2010