BCS: Big Cockamamie System

So far, we have the following scintillating matchups on tap for the mind-screw that is the BCS bowl championship series. Penn State vs. someone in the Pac-10 for the Rose, Cincinnati vs. either BC or Virginia Tech in the Orange and Ohio State vs. somebody in the Fiesta. Sound familiar? It should. Kind of. All you have to do is read the fine print. The Sugar and BCS Championship bowls actually make sense, but that could change by Saturday. First we have to deal with "conference championships," which is another way for the BCS to get whatever teams they want to their party. Keep in mind that if we had a playoff we wouldn't even need bother with these so-called title games; we'd already be in the playoffs. Even with a 16-team playoff, the series would take four weeks. And if you can't find a winner out of legitimate conference champs (and maybe a few wildcards) you can't find a national champion to begin with! Anyway, we don't get what we want and this year may be the worst. Here's your proof.

Rose Bowl - Penn State (Big 10 champion) vs. USC/Oregon State (Pac-10 champion)

How's this for fuzzy math? Once USC beats lowly 4-7 UCLA on Saturday, the Trojans will be invited to the Rose Bowl to play Big 10 champion Penn State. That's written in stone tablets those ancient goons in red jackets created in some backroom in L.A., even though USC lost to Oregon State, who lost to Oregon, who lost to undefeated No. 9 Boise State. The other bizarre thing is that if the Trojans lose Saturday, Oregon State would be going to the Rose Bowl for the first time since the TV was invented (1939, or somewhere thereabouts) even though they lost to (gasp!) No. 6 Utah.

Orange Bowl - Cincinnati (Big East champion) vs. Boston College/Virginia Tech (ACC champion)

For further proof of the joke that is the BCS, No. 18 Cincinnati of the Big East Conference WILL play the winner of Boston College (not a Top 10 BCS team) and Virginia Tech (not even a Top 20 BCS team) in the Orange Bowl, which is a BCS bowl game. Is that because Miami is in the Big East? Maybe. Will Boise State be getting any love in Miami? No. That's because the Orange Bowl goons in their orange jackets put their noggins together and decided the only way to make things fair would be to take two of the lamest conferences in the East and have them play for it all! Yeah, bet that will be exciting!! The only thing (and frankly it wouldn't matter anyway) is if they threw in Conference USA for good measure and had the winner from that conference play in the Sugar Bowl! Then people from the East coast would really get what they wanted!

If any bowl committee did that for the Mountain West and Western Athletic Conferences, you would hear an outcry from Denver to Brooklyn that the BCS is unfair and they aren't putting in the best teams AND blah, blah, blech!!! This would be the year the BCS could actually do something about their joke of a system and send a higher-ranked team, like Texas Tech and Boise State, for example, to Miami. Unfortunately, there is no way in Hell that will happen. Dream on, BCS-busters, for your time to shine will soon pass.

Fiesta Bowl - Only John Junker knows vs. No. 10 Ohio State (Because the committee loves them so)

Look, I've got nothing against Ohio State, but if you can tell me why a team (the Buckeyes) ranked below the Boise State Broncos in every statistical poll (and in computer percentage by 16 points!) is even getting a look from the Fiesta Bowl committee, I'd really appreciate it. I'm sure the Buckeyes, in spite of their not-so-stellar bowl record, will give the Longhorns a game. *coughs* And who on God's green earth will the Buckeyes play? Well, my little chickadees, nobody except for those goons in those stupid mustard yellow coats knows that, but I'll bet it isn't No. 6 Utah or No. 9 Boise State, although both teams could be squeezed out. As weird as this sounds, I think No. 7 Texas Tech has a better chance of playing in the Valley of the Sun.

Even though the Trojans have one loss, it will be the Boise State Broncos who will likely be staying home from the mockery that is the BCS. Word is they'll accept a San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl bid to play No. 11 TCU...lovely. Does it matter that Boise State defeated mighty Oklahoma in the Fiesta Bowl not too long ago? No it doe$ not, said John Junker, Fiesta Bowl committee chairman to reporter Gordon Monson of The Salt Lake Tribune today. Monson replied by making a complete ass out of him and his committee in his newspaper. And it's possible that if USC loses on Saturday (which is unlikely, since they're a 30-point favorite) the Trojans may be the ones headed to the Fiesta Bowl. Talk about confusing and irritating at the same time.

Sugar Bowl - No. 1 Alabama/No. 4 Florida vs. Anyone remaining (Utah/Texas Tech/Boise State/TCU/Ball St)

The Sugar Bowl has no contractual obligation to any team. But that's what all the bowls say. That doesn't mean they'll just up and choose No. 6 Utah, who after all the smoke has cleared, is the most likely choice to end up in the Big (Sl)easy. No. 9 Boise State could end up here too. But that isn't likely given their conference foe Hawaii was stomped badly by Georgia. Sugar Bowl reps won't care for a repeat, although I'll go on record saying the Broncos would not be thrashed the way the Rainbows were. Though 'Bow fans won't like me saying this, there is a huge difference between Boise State and Hawaii and it's not just the coaching.

So what we have here is a failure to communicate...what this bowl game really needs. My worry is that if Alabama loses to Florida, the Crimson Tide will be matched up against No. 6 Utah, making for a boring matchup, as opposed to what the Sugar Bowl jackets are really hoping for...and that's for Florida to lose to Alabama! Oh, what story lines their bowl would bring!! Local boy (Gator coach Urban Meyer also coached at Utah, you know) does good and now faces his old BCS-buster team, the first BCS-buster of its kind!!! Meyer has gone on record saying he wants no part of the Utes and their modified spread offense vs. his spread offense. But the thing that would really stand out in the Sugar Bowl is defense. Both Utah and Florida (and Alabama, for that matter) can bring the D. If USC somehow got thumped and the Fiesta passed on them (not gonna happen) then the Trojans could end up here and really, REALLY screw up the BCS bowl picture.

The BCS Championship - Winner of Alabama/Florida (BCS No. 1) vs. Oklahoma/Texas (BCS No. 2)

I'll hazard a guess as to who is playing in the BCS championship, even though it isn't until January. It will be the winner of the SEC Championship, for sure. That is a certainty. The Tide are currently ranked No. 1 in the BCS poll and so a victory against No. 4 Florida would cement that top ranking. However, it's not so certain would their opponent would be, since Oklahoma picked up brownie points from Tulsa to Tallahassee by racking up almost 70 points on every opponent they faced after being humiliated by No. 3 Texas. Yes, that's right; the Sooners lost to Texas and they still ended up ahead in the BCS poll!

But wait; they're not done. Now they get to go to the Big 12 Championship game Saturday (despite losing to Texas, which we already covered here in detail) and play No. 20 Missouri. Now here's where it could get confusing. We can thank our God in Heaven that the Big 12 Conference doesn't have automatic berths in a bowl, right? Right??? Um, yes they do. And so if Missouri, ranked No. 20, happens to best Oklahoma Saturday, they are also guaranteed a spot in a BCS bowl . Which means, No. 6 Utah or No. 7 Texas Tech would be on the outside looking in at any of the possible BCS bowl scenarios. And Texas would move up to No. 2 in the BCS poll in spite of not playing in the conference championship game and losing out to Oklahoma by percentage points, even though...yaggidy-yag.

The Orange Bowl will not be a good game; I don't care if Doug Flutie's cousin may be suiting up for the Eagles and Cincinnati has never been to a BCS game. It won't be as good a game, potentially, as No. 6 Utah vs. anyone those conferences had to offer. (the 2004 Fiesta Bowl offered proof of this, as Utah thumped Pitt.) The fact the Fiesta Bowl committee is considering not offering a spot to No. 9 Boise State, despite the Broncos' unbelievable historic victory over Oklahoma in that same bowl several years ago, is simply mind-boggling. And they aren't the only teams who may be on the outside looking in. Undefeated Ball State and No. 11 TCU may be passed up for the likes of Cincy, BC, Virginia Tech and perhaps even Oregon State and Missouri, all in the name of money. We need a playoff system in the FBS. It's that simple.

In sum, it means that the BCS is a mockery, a sham of a selection committee that is no more determined to find a true national collegiate football champion in the Football Bowl Subdivision, or Division I, than it is to find suitable matchups for us, the fans. After all, we pay for season tickets and TV packages in some areas of the country and we would like to see a fair, equitable solution to this.

It's just a good thing Notre Dame isn't ranked this year (they're 6-6) because if they were, No. 6 and undefeated Utah would be staying home, too. But usually the BCS does decide to put in one so-called BCS-buster, just to make things seem right. It's just not enough this year. It would be nice, however, since several teams are ranked between Nos. 10-20, if the BCS would take off those stupid jackets for just a moment and realize we, the fans, just wanted to see good football games.