BDSM 101 - Spanking Guide for New and Not-So-New Dominants

Just before a spanking happens the spanker will generally position the spankee in one of a few traditional and well known spanking positions. The positions will not be discussed in this article. What we will discuss is the benefits and disadvantages to both the spanker and the spankee. Of course most positions will favor the spanker but isn't that mostly the case in BDSM? We will first discuss the advantages to the spanker.

Advantages to Spanker:

Firstly it gives the spanker a lot of control. The spanker is in a higher position than the spankee and can restrain and control the spankee when the spankee moves much easier. The control also heightens the satisfaction of a top in a scene like this. The spanker can apply more strength in the traditional positions. When sitting with a spankee over the lap, the spanker can swing their arms naturally and apply force on all those spots they plan to hit. When a spanker is standing he or she can swing her or his arm and body to get even more power out of the stroke. Of course it is a matter of comfort as well, since it makes sense that the naughty girl or boy receiving the spanking should be less comfortable than the top. Comfort also contributes to the length of a spanking and that is of course a benefit for the spankee too.

The position of the derriere is very tantalizing in most traditional postures. It makes the activity so much more erotic for the top and helps to ensure accuracy in the spanking. There is nothing quite as appealing as the derriere stretched at an angle ready for that nasty spanking. Safety is the last factor to discuss here - the top is more able to ensure that he or she will not hit too high or too low and the bottom will not be harmed.

"Advantages" to the spankee:

Well, first off, it really is safe to be spanked using a traditional posture as the top will not hit any sensitive spots that should have been avoided. There is the myth of relative comfort too. This myth is that the bottom is now relatively comfortable and could maintain this position for quite some time without harm being done. Some positions I would agree with that, but some are definitely less comfortable and much more difficult to maintain. I find that anticipation increases tenfold with this type of play and that just that aspect really excites and scares me sometimes. I know when I assume the position that my ass will be getting a good walloping and that I probably will have trouble sitting down afterwards, but still I continue and my body betrays me by becoming instantly aroused. What also gets me to a large degree is the humiliation aspect of this. As a woman, I am completely exposed and all my private bits are in plain view. Of course I feel even more ashamed when my private bits show my state of mind and arousal too.

I know that I am losing control as soon as I assume the position. I know that from then on I could not even try to clench my cheeks as some of the positions force me to maintain the perfect spanking posture. I know that I cannot get away, no matter how hard the spanking gets and I know that I will most probably embarrass myself by crying too. Of course my dominant likes it when I cry so he will try to get me there. I always feel like a naughty little girl in situations like this. I know I am submitting when I lie down or bend forward and this takes me into an altered state of consciousness, not to mention that I know that I will probably drop into subspace too at some point. I know that there is no turning back when I comply with instructions.

I know it is safer for me and this is a definite advantage. I do not always feel this "safety", but hey just the fact that I know on some level, makes me feel more relaxed. The presentation of my bottom in this way, not only excites me because I know that it is an undeniable target now, but I also know that there is not a lot of sights that pleases my dominant more. I like pleasing him and I like showing him that I will do anything for him and this leads to so much more than just a spanking on almost all occasions. I just make sure that my trusted tube of Arnica is always on hand when I have been spanked. Arnica will take away any bruises much faster than it would take to heal on its own.

Newbie Dominant just remember that you can make the spanking even more erotic by varying touches and rhythm, by caressing me and then spanking me you can get me to new heights of pleasure. Your control could be magnified by a little bit of humiliating speak too. Also know that reminding me to return to position and to maintain that position often helps keep me in line and even more excited.