BDSM: 6 Myths About the Lifestyle

The psychological aspects of BDSM are what drive the entire scene. To those who have little understanding of the BDSM lifestyle, there is a lot of misunderstanding. They see strange people who are into kinky sex, pain and bondage. What they don't see are the underlying emotions that drive those who are members of the lifestyle.
Here are some common myths regarding BDSM:

BDSM is a dysfunctional relationship that excuses the abuse of women. This is a common myth that is very untrue. Most people involved in the lifestyle are very serious about it. They take every precaution to set proper boundaries, including the use of safe words. There is no desire to cause harm to a submissive. Rather, the opposite is true. A submissive is seen as someone to be cherished. Any play is done with the consent of all involved. Safe, sane and consensual is the rule that the community goes by. A true BDSM relationship involves a huge amount of trust.

Submissives are weak individuals who do not know how to stand up for themselves. This is very untrue. As a matter of fact, a submissive is a very strong individual. She is not a doormat. If she gives up her control to a dominant, it is because that is what she wants to do. Many submissives have very high powered careers in which they are always in control. Their involvement in the BDSM lifestyle is an outlet for them to experience what it is like to give up that control. It is a very freeing act.

Dominants are selfish users who have no concern for the submissive. Again, this is another common myth. A true dominant cares deeply for the well being of his submissive. He pushes her limits because he wants her to grow as a person. He wants her to learn to face her fears. Yes, he has a need to control, but a good dominant knows how to balance his control of the other person with safety and the needs of the submissive.

BDSM is all about kinky sex. This is not true. As a matter of fact, many BDSM relationships are not about sex at all. Some are about service. Some are more about the psychological aspects of the relationship. There are BDSM relationships in which there is no sex at all.

BDSM relationships are for those who are unable to commit. Quite to the contrary, those involved in BDSM relationships are very committed to one another. There are contracts and collaring ceremonies that very much resemble a wedding ceremony. Some have even said that the emotional commitment is deeper than that of the commitment made in a marriage. Some BDSM relationships lead to marriage as well, and it is not uncommon to find such relationships that last for a lifetime.

BDSM relationships are for people who are abnormal in some way. This is another myth. There are people from all walks of life involved in this lifestyle. There are doctors, lawyers, teachers, bank presidents, office workers, construction workers. There are rich and poor, black and white, and people from various nationalities. There is a great likelihood that you see someone every day who is involved in the lifestyle.

Do not believe the myths about any group of people until you do some research about the group. Do not discount anyone as being strange or different without first learning the facts.