Be Careful of Your Behavior in Front of Your Children

In a male dominated society, such as India, it is a very rare sight to see a male doing household chores such as cooking, cleaning and ironing. Even if a guy is advanced and modern in his thinking as to help out his wife and lift her burden a little, his family would discourage him. I know of homes where guys are not allowed in the kitchen itself. They proudly say that a kitchen is a women's kingdom! The generations who have been taught this virtue, by the forefathers, is still singing to its tunes.

I am born in such a family. I am grateful that my parents are much more advanced in their thinking. My family is huge. We all live separately but we meet up once every year. It is kind of a grand function when that happens. There are so many kids as well. It is fun to watch how the children interact with each other, with elders and the kind of communication they engage themselves in. I am amazed that children of this generation are far advanced than I was in my childhood.

We can learn a lot from the children in our home. All you have to do is to watch , listen and observe. They could pass you some bare comments that could start you wishing that the ground would split open and gobble you up than face it. One such incident took place with my brother.

My elder brother has a daughter. She is the most talkative of the lot. She is in nursery and she is the elder of the bully gang. I mean she can be quite a brat when she wants to. However, she is very reliable. She speaks her mind and is not afraid of anything. This trait is very important. And in my opinion, it should be developed.; keeping in mind, the concerns of others as well. Speaking ones mind should be taught parallel to developing empathy towards the people who co-exist.

I mentioned earlier that I live in a male dominating environment. So likelihood is that my brother is modeled the same way. Although he is educated and understands the equation of equality and respect in marriage, he can take my sis-in-law for granted at times.

One day, they were getting ready to go for a marriage. My sis-in-law wears a scarf, always. Since they were running late, she asked my brother to iron the scarf for her while she got their daughter ready. My brother blatantly refused and he was walking towards the door when he heard a small voice.

"Mom always irons your shirt, your pant and your handkerchief. Why can't you help her this once. Can't you see she's very busy?"

Oh my! That got my brother a little agitated. He didn't iron the scarf anyway. He told me this story when we met recently. I was very amused by the comment she passed. And I asked my brother what was wrong in what she said. He replied that she is too little to make that sort of a remark. I asked why that is so and he replied that she is a kid and when he was a kid, he was not allowed to make comments on his parents' behavior.

I advised him that the times have changed and that the kids nowadays are smarter that us. We have to make changes to our behavior such that we teach our kids to be responsible citizens. If you role model behaviors such as this, it could pass on to your kids as well. They could learn that anyone can be taken for granted. I told him that he should have ironed the scarf. If not for anything just to be a role model to his own child. She learns from him as well and it is very important to mould her to be responsible towards others.

I am not sure if he understood where I was getting to but he did nod. You never know what your child is learning from you. So always be on your best behavior.