Be Careful How You Choose Your Friends

The stories are endless about how lonely people, especially women, are befriended by persons who selfishly take advantage of them. "In her loneliness, she lost all reason. She still thinks she did the right thing," lamented one Canadian law official about a lonely widow from whom $100,000 had been extorted by a man she confided in.

Money is not the only thing nor the most valuable thing that lonely people stand to lose by not being careful about whom they choose as companions. Personal moral standards, self-respect, dignity, a good conscience are but a few "valuables" taken from lonely people by so-called consoling friends

It is especially dangerous for married persons who cannot communicate well with their mates to look for an emotional response elsewhere. How much better to work at drawing closer to one's mate. Learn to share, not merely a home, but your feelings.

Common sense and respect for marriage should tell us that we should not expect to have certain needs for companionship fulfilled by one of the opposite sex with whom we have no right to become emotionally involved.

However, merely having pleasant association with good friends is not the complete answer to loneliness. A person cannot spend all his time in friendly conversation. For a person to have self-esteem, which is so needed in overcoming loneliness, his life must have purpose and a genuine sense of achievement. What is needed to provide this?

A Relationship That Calls for Commitment

"Commitment was always a dirty word with me," said one 24-year-old single woman. Yet her life was meaningless, as she said: "It was just day after day of depression and loneliness. . . . I spent a lot of years waiting-waiting for the world to hand me an envelope with my life inside it. Then I figured everything would be okay. I wouldn't feel lonely or insecure." It never happened.

Her experience is typical of many, for one researcher reported of many lonely teen-agers: "They didn't develop depth, never learned the tools of survival, didn't discover the importance of setting life projects." The importance of "life projects" and commitment cannot be overemphasized if one is to conquer loneliness. But commitment to what? There are many pursuits available today. Which of these should be selected as one's 'life project'?

As you grow in this knowledge, you will be drawn closer to our heavenly Father. You will see how he provides the strength for you to face each day's cares and apprehensions. All of this will help you to build a strong personal relationship with God, which is the finest answer to loneliness.