Be Your Horse's Best Friend

In the past couple of months I have had several comments about how much fun it is to be around my horses. They really like people and so people really like them. To have this kind of horse it is first necessary to understand what is important to horses before you attempt to forge that good relationship so many of us want and so many don't get. It took me most of my life to learn how to forge those bonds. And even though I could create a good relationship with my horses it wasn't until I signed on with Parelli that I really learned how to teach others to do it.

A vital thing to understand is that horse herds have two leaders. A mare who is the one that takes a herd to where good food and water is as well as safety. A stallion or gelding (if the herd is domestic) is the driving leader. He stays on the outer edges and protects the herd from predators or other intruders. Neither leader obtains their position by yelling at or beating up their followers.

Show 'em who's boss was a phrase I heard frequently in the horse world when I was growing up. But most people didn't and don't understand what taking a leadership position among horses really means.

You do need to take the leadership position with your horse if the two of you are to have a good relationship. If the horse is the leader there will always be problems because it thinks it has to be on guard and keep itself from being eaten. Anytime you ask a horse to do something it thinks is dangerous you will have an argument on your hands and, usually, the horse will win if you haven't taken the lead position in your partnership.

A lot of people think that they have to get rough with a horse if they are going to be the boss. Yelling, hitting and other nasty things are how they go about trying to "Be the Boss." Not only is this the wrong way to go about things with horses; it creates a dangerous situation. A horse that does what a human wants it too because it has been forced into submission is a horse that will take off the minute it can. If something happens and the rider of such a horse comes off out on the trail the horse will immediately leave and head to a safe place as fast as it can.

A safe place to a horse is somewhere where it isn't bothered by the demands of the human. Usually this is a horse's stall or pen back at the barn. If a horse has been hauled a long ways to unfamiliar territory it may regard the trailer as its safe spot and head back there. In some cases horses have been known to head back to the territory they are most familiar with no matter how far away it is.

Think about why the horse thinks its stall is the best place to be. Here a horse is allowed to rest and is mostly left alone. It isn't jerked around, yelled at or hit. In the stall it gets food and water. Usually there are other horses nearby. All in all in many cases the stall is the only place a horse can feel even the slightest bit safe and comfortable.

Horses have three main requirements they need to be happy. First off a horse needs to feel safe. As a prey animal the only time a horse can relax is when it is safe. The leader of the herd chooses spots where the herd can feed and rest in relative safety.

Once a horse is safe it can be comfortable. When feelings of safe and comfortable are met a horse needs to play. Notice I did not say wants to play, I said NEEDS. This play is how horses determine who is fittest to be leader. Since the leader is the one that is responsible for keeping the herd safe and in good condition it is critical that the most alert and intelligent horse is the leader.

Constantly playing various games is how horses make sure that the best one for the job is in the leadership roll. Sometimes in a herd you will see a really aggressive horse that tries to bite, kick and otherwise push the other horses around. Interestingly, this horse is usually one of the lowest ranked horses in a herd. The higher a horse's position in a herd the less it does to keep that position.

If that sounds wrong it is because there is one aspect of the herd leader that is seldom seen. If a herd has a good leader that horse will do only what it has to in order to maintain its position. But, it will do whatever it has to in order to keep the other horses in line. If a twitch of the ear keeps the next horse in its place then that is all a lead horse will do. If, however, it takes more then the lead horse will do whatever it takes to convince that other horse it is the boss.

When horses have a power struggle it only goes as far as it has to to make one of the horses admit the other is leader. It begins with a look. The leader gives any encroaching horse a look that says, "Back off." If the horse ignores this then an ear twitches. The next stage is a swing of the head or a lifting of a back foot, depending on where the offending horse is. Next the leader will move her whole body to make the horse give over. If necessary the signals will escalate to teeth and hooves. When the scrap is over one horse will be a respectful distance from the winner. And that is the end of the conflict for now.

When a herd is well established the testing will be in the form of play. You will see two horses nipping at one another. Usually these are the males. Male horses play much more often than mares do. Mares seldom challenge the lead mare's position in a well established herd with a good lead mare. Even if she is old and frail she still is the one that is the herd's memory. Sometimes you will see an old lead mare that has abdicated her position. Usually the one that takes over is her daughter or a daughter of her daughter. The interesting thing though is, that if something really untoward happens, the entire herd will at once look to that old mare for guidance.

And this is where you, as the horse owner, want to be. Anytime something unusual occurs you want your horse to look to you for guidance. You want to establish a good leadership relationship with your horse so it will always consider you are the safest place to be when anything happens, good or bad. And the first step to achieving this is to groom you horse.