Beatles Just Another Hair Band
They Would Never Make it Today
The super-letdown of the British Hairband era began with the arrival of the Beatles in America. Girls went crazy over four singers with bad hairdos that couldn't carry a note.
We all know who the genius behind the Beatles was: Ringo Starr. Paul and John kept him under wraps despite Ringo penning every one of their hit singles. The pressure got to be too much though, and they caved in and allowed Starr to sing. But in a show of control and who's really in charge, they stuck it to him by picking Yellow Submarine. That put the drummer in his place but it took its toll on the band, leading to their breakup in 1974.
But I am getting ahead of myself.
The band was a smash hit despite their talent weaknesses, achieving great success in the mid 1960's. But hot tunes only last so long and The Beatles sang during a time when radio was pay-to-play and all their hits were manufactured. They had nothing on the real dominating acts of the 60's like The Monkees and the Turtles.
As they matured, the Beatles found they had to come up with a new niche to support their struggling record sales. So they all grew their hair long and started doing drugs. By this time, those that were hypnotized as children to their early hits were sucked back in as teens. And thus the hippie movement was born.
So not only did they write and play bad music but they gave everyone the idea that drugs are wicked cool and not working or showering is even better. Problem is the hippies weren't making millions off their record sales like the marketing geniuses of the Beatle corporate machine.
And how would that music fare today? It's all the same chords and beats, a monkey could play their songs. Top 40 Radio today is much less formulaic, the Beatles' plan for success would never have worked in 2007.
There is also much more diversity on the radio these days, and record companies look to invest in talent. Look at all the ability American Idol has shown exists in people like your next-door neighbor. I would never have dreamed people were so gifted, there is no way everyone was that good 40 years ago.
You know, it's no surprise Michael Jackson is broke. Think it was the court costs and his illicit, creepy behavior that did it? Think again. He bought the world's most overvalued music library, the rights to almost all the group's songs. I suppose we should be thankful though. If it weren't for him, we'd be forced to listen to bands cover the Beatles. I'm glad we have better choices, like a new cut of Free Bird. Fourteen versions of that song so far and I never tire of any of them.
Rock on Good Charlotte!
Published by Chris Cameron
Chris Cameron is a freelance writer who basks in the glory of self-indulgence. His pompous arrogance rises above the redundancy of this sentence. View profile
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16 Comments
Post a Commenteat songs, but it's a great way to get into the business.
And the truth is, the drugs only helped their music. Sure, they likely negatively affected their lives, but I don't care who makes the music as long as it's good, and they wrote great music. I could care less if they were all addicted to heroin.
As a person's interest in music matures, the person gains a better appreciation of the art of music. Sure, simple feel-good melodic tunes are great, but the innovation and thought put behind things like Sgt. Pepper's and the White Album are the true things that make music so amazing.
I'll bwt you're tone deaf, too, Mr. Cameron.
ps whew we are in the minority on this one. Brave of you to write this. Bravo. :-)
LOLOL! I loved this! The Beatles were before my time. I still credit Elvis for rock and roll. :-) I agree with much that you said here, joke or not. Enjoyed!
This editoral was humorous, but 1 thing annoy's me and that is the year of the Beatle breakup, not 1974, it was 1969.
People, this article was all tongue in cheek!
UH..this article is very innaccurate. The genius behind the beatles was lennon/mcarthy...with harrison then ringo bringing up the rear. In fact it dont come easy was written by george harrison for his buddy ringo to get a solo career.
Of course a monkey could play their songs, but could the Monkees play their songs? That's the million dollar question.
I disagree with pretty much all of this article, but I gotta admit- you wrote it well! Good job.
hmmm monkey as a pun, I didn't even think of that. Good eye! And thank you all for the compliments on my writing style/ability, that means the world to me, it is much appreciated. It's something I work hard on and it is nice to see that it is recognized. :)