Beautiful Idiot or Average Angel? a Look into How Sexual Attraction Effects Our Daily Decisions

What makes a person attractive? Throughout time, beauty has had many faces. This is culturally speaking, though. What is it that lets you know within 30 seconds of your blind date that you are just NOT interested? By simply looking at someone, what is it that makes your heart pound so hard that you fear others will hear it? Why is physical attraction so important that it practically rules our lives? K. Bessert discusses this topic in the article "The inconvenience of sexual attraction", viewable here. I was immediately interested in the psychology of the topic, so I thought I'd give my take on it.

I thought the article was genius. I seriously think about this kind of stuff all the freaking time. I found myself pretty much in non-stop laughter during the article because it was so true. And maybe I am wrong, but I think a lot of people misunderstood the true meaning. I don't think it was really about sex as much as sexual attraction. Any woman can attempt to reproduce with any man, and vice versa, but if it really worked that way, we would all have like 36 kids... (and probably about 472 illegitimate children for every man. Hehe). So there is something more to it.

Bessert, in my opinion, is dead on about the need to reproduce. From trees and flowers to frogs, fish and rabbits, the whole entire living world is existing to reproduce. While this is not very romantic, it is pure nature. Just look at any animal show you will ever see....the males fight (sometimes to the death) to become the dominate leader who will get his choice of women. If you have ever been to the bar on a Friday night, you will see the sick similarity. (But I'm not even going to pretend to understand men and their testosterone!) They say that humans are the only animals with no true instincts. All I can do is hope that I have been misinformed. (I really need to believe that men can't control the way they act...)

On the other hand, I do believe that you can grow to love someone. Arranged marriages work mostly because they have to. I have a hard time believing that a 19 year old girl could possibly be attracted to a 43 year old man- but, I have no doubt that it is highly possible for the couple to learn to love each other. In my experience, even the people who are questionable looking have become increasingly attractive to me over time if they are good people. The opposite is true though, too. A hot guy who is all too aware of how hot he is, is suddenly not so hot anymore. As far as a partnership goes, though, by the time you realize a friend of the opposite sex is attractive to you, it's probably too late, and you will be stuck in friendship mode forever. (Which is very tricky business.)

If you really think about it, even the friends a person chooses has a lot to do with their physical attractiveness. Just think for a minute...do you have ANY ugly friends? I don't. Am I a horrible and shallow person? No, I am not, but none of my friends are ugly to me. What would make me ever walk up to some nasty guy and ask him to be friends out of nowhere? Did you ever notice how all the members of a particular clique will be of pretty much equal attractiveness? I know this sounds evil, but I think that "unattractive" people might be too self conscience to spark up a conversation with the captain of the football team or whatever. And the girl at school who weighs like 400 pounds is far more likely to have low self esteem and in turn seek out friends of similar stature.

If you REALLY look around, it seems like physical attraction is running the show. Then again, I'm assuming that I'm not the only person who has felt something intense for a person that was less than average. And sometimes you will explain your feelings to your best friend, who has no interest in this average person, and then out of nowhere, she will be head over heels for him. Sometimes there is just "something" about someone that can't be explained. I guess sometimes a person will become attractive because of the image they portray or the confidence they exude. (Or the temptation of the forbidden fruit..)

What is the meaning behind all of this? I don't think there could be any way to prove any theories on this topic. Doing a personality study would only leave as many doors open as it closed. Bessert is right- it's horrible that you can't force yourself to love the right person. I have probably passed up the man of my dreams about 25 times by now because there was no "spark". It's not fair that someone wonderful can love a person entirely without ever getting the feelings returned.
After thinking it through long and hard, it only makes sense that physical attraction is important. Although love is twisted and ironic sometimes, there is so much excitement when the opportunity comes for an insane attraction plus the personality connection, and I think that makes up for it. There is nothing better than knowing you are the luckiest person in the world for getting someone beautiful in your life. When you know you can't possibly deserve the love and happiness you receive, then you will know it's all worth it.