Beauty, Attraction, and Love: The Role of Physical Attractiveness

Many years ago, I did research on the meaning of physical beauty. It was disheartening because the only conclusion I could reach is that its effects were protean and powerful. My subjects were all young people and I wonder how the results might have changed if I had a broader group. In the group that I did study, however, there was a concordance on the characteristics that compose beauty, at least within our culture. And the number of judgments that good looks affect is downright frightening. Beauty makes people seem smarter, more persuasive, more likely to be right, nicer, and, of course, more sought after.

Is there consensus on beauty? More, perhaps than people like to think. Yes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but most beholders look for much the same things. In research about what characteristics are considered beautiful, one factor always dominates -- symmetry. Symmetrical faces (and bodies) are judged to be more attractive tha assymetric ones. There are other factors, of course, but it is easy to imagine that these nearly universal characteristics that are judged attractive, are those that betoken good health. The evolutionary pressure for that is obvious. Selection in mates is maintained in evolution if the preferred elements are determined by good health and advantageous physical attributes. So there is a built in bias toward features that are correlated with health. Fortunately, although there is pretty high consensus, there is still enough variability in individual concepts of beauty that we do not all seek exactly the same people.

Although it isn't a particularly pleasant fact, beauty is the prime determinant (for most people) that creates that feeling of infatuation so often mistaken for love. There are probably two basic reasons for this. 1) We have pictures in our unconscious minds of the sought after sex objects that are probably partly hard wired and partly learned. That picture becomes a 'releasing stimulus' for erotic responses, and; 2) we learn what our culture sees as desirable and we feel much better about ourselves if we can attract that person. So we seek to capture the beautiful object. In the short run, this is hard to overcome. But then, as we learn the person and have interactions that are rewarding and the basis for a real love relationship the "ba mir bist du schön," (Yiddish for "to me, you are beautiful") phenomenon begins to take over and that person defines beauty for you because of the love. In those circumstances, the important characteristics (to you) become the determinants of the attraction.

Many people feel guilt over responding to the "shallow" characteristic of physical beauty. How can anyone of taste, dignity, moral rectitude, and maturity be so shallow as to be attracted to physical beauty? Well, folks, it's easy. In fact, it's very hard not to respond to that attribute, particularly in our culture. Even the broad minded individuals who can find beauty in in almost everyone, still must admit that they respond to mere superficial characteristics, finding some were more beautiful than others. Although I have no direct data, I suspect that outward characteristics will become less important and those people deemed more beautiful than others will be judged, increasingly, on qualities other than physiognomy. But this is a response that attends age. It is most difficult to genuinely feel this as a young person.

In other words, the response to outward beauty is real, but transitory. Denying the reality of this is actually tantamount to suppressing a normal response that can be enjoyed without guilt. Is it shallow to respond to beauty in people? Many of us feel this is so. Is it shallow to respond to beauty in art? The difference is that a piece of art doesn't feel the rejection. Venerating beauty in people is unfair to people who are not blessed with good looks. It is also unfair that some people are born with less intelligence than others. C'est la vie. We do not kid ourselves that everyone has equal intelligence. In a perfect world, we would all be equal in all ways. In that perfect world, we would all be bored to death. In other words, enjoy everything you can about a person, including beauty, without guilt. Just be careful not to overlook characteristics that, in the long run, wear better than outward appearance. Enjoy beauty; don't be blinded by it.