Beauty DIY: Don't Try THIS One at Home

I would like to believe that I've become a bit wiser in my (almost) middle years about attempting beauty treatments at home. Unfortunately my last trip to the salon proves that belief a lie. You you've erred when you find yourself apologizing for the condition of your hair in the hopes that your longstanding hairstylist won't drop you like a hot iron. I just wanted a bit more bang....

Really I feel that this failing is a genetic inheritance. After all, I can still remember my mom taking us for a hair cut after attempting to trim our bangs by taping the hair across our forehead. Whether it was in attempt to wrangle it into submission or better obtain a straight line the results were always the same; a quick trip to Fantastic Sam's.

So therefore I can declare myself guilt free for frying that egg in my hair. The magazine said that it would add moisture, but they didn't warn me not to rinse with hot water. Just FYI, cooked egg bits are really hard to remove. And that box of Loving Care that said on the box 'not for blonde hair' didn't really mean me. Who could have guessed that applying black dye over my blonde hair would cause it to turn an unusual shade of moss green after the first washing? Even going green didn't change my DIY nature, because the local drugstore sold a product I was sure would kill, I mean cure, my ills - color stripper. This experience didn't end to well either. If only it had been Halloween I could have incorporated my peachy orange hair into a stunning costume ensemble. Then there was the time I ended up with lovely white highlights framing my face with the exception of one fat white strand running down the back of my head like a skunk.

In the vulnerable early teen years, one of my classmates was cursed with an especially hirsute nature. This led to the creation of the chant, "Come hither hairy Heather." Fear that my own forearms might be equally too hairy (although they were blonde and as such hardly noticeable) caused me to treat them with Nair. Who knows, maybe I didn't leave it on long enough, but the result was electrifying. For months afterward, the hair on my arms stood straight out.

I will have to say that my experimental nature has led to some rather memorable moments. I know that my Mom will never forget meeting me for breakfast on the day before my wedding. Who knew that blue streaks would be so upsetting? *snicker* *snicker*