Beauty Myths We Get from Hollywood

It's all too common. Staring down from giant billboards glossy images shout "You should look like this." This is what sexy is." On the movie screen we see the perfectly styled tresses and sculpted bodies of characters we can't help but notice, and we wonder why we don't look like so flawless. We want to be that thin, that tall, that tan, and that sexy.

This is the myth of perfect beauty, and though we see it most clearly from Hollywood sources, it's all around us in more subtle ways. In fact, we are responsible for nurturing this myth and keeping it alive. We do this when we starve ourselves to reach a certain weight that's unhealthy or unrealistic, when we judge the worth of other people based on what they are wearing, and when we spend millions of dollars on useless weight loss drugs. As a parent I find the beauty myth very disturbing. Eating disorders are a persistent issue for so many adolescents, and kids are at risk when they lack self esteem and a good foundation for processing the images they are bombarded with. The myth is a very dangerous threat to the physical, emotional, and mental well being of so many children.

When faced with slick images every day what can a parent do to help their child see through the myth? There are some simple things we can do to point the way toward something more realistic and healthy.

Problem: Putting to much emphasis on weight. The desire to be at a healthy weight makes sense. We all know that being very overweight or underweight is not good for our bodies. The problem comes when we place our focus entirely on our weight. Weight is only part of the overall picture of good health, and parents would do well to examine their comments and put more effort into communicating this to their kids. Do your children see you constantly in "diet mode" or yo-yo dieting from one plan to the next? Do you often call yourself fat or complain about the size of certain parts of your body? This tells children that smaller is always better, and it reinforces the myth that skinny equals beautiful.

What you can do instead: Focus more on a healthy lifestyle and less on weight and size. Let your children see you being active in a variety of ways that you enjoy. Walking, jogging, yoga, swimming, and even yard work are all great ways to enjoy movement. Let the kids hear you talk about how exercise that is incorporated into a pleasant activity or daily routines, such as walking the dog, are easy and fun. Talk about weight as just one piece of a healthy lifestyle in addition to diet, sleep, and exercise. Point out that all activity is exercise in one way or another, and that it's good for the heart and muscles. Help the kids find activities they enjoy.

Problem: Celebrity worship Our culture worships at the altar of Hollywood and entertainment. The adoration of celebrities starts at a young age, too. Children as young as three years old can identify their favorite television personalities, and that makes it all the more important for parents to start modeling positive attitudes about realistic bodies early in their child's life. These days it's nearly a national pastime to gossip about celebrities and their appearances. Television and magazines are an entertaining part of our culture, and there's nothing wrong with being a fan of certain celebrities, but when we value only the thinnest women with the largest breasts or tall tanned men with muscular chests we send a clear message to our children that value and popularity should be directly related to certain appearances.

What you can do instead: Highlight non-physical attributes. To help children understand that real worth and value aren't about physical beauty or body parts try paying more attention to the positive non physical aspects of a celebrity that you admire. Let your children know that you appreciate what a certain actress has done for victims of domestic violence through charity work or donations. You could even mention that you like an actor's joyful laugh. On the other hand you might want to highlight the opposite. Sometimes the entertainers our culture considers so beautiful and worthy of praise are running about doing very careless or unkind things. While being careful not to poke fun at someone's hard times or bad decisions talking about this can help young people see that celebrities are human beings and not always the picture of perfection we see them portrayed as in the media. Positive or negative these things tell us so much more about a person than what we can see with just a glance at the exterior, and they will tell your child that a person is more than just a face or expensive clothes.

Problem: Believing what we see can be dangerous. The faces and bodies in magazines, movies, and television seem so perfect that it's almost unreal. The truth is that most of it is unreal! Models, singers, and actors go through an incredible process before they ever hit the photographer or the stage. Between makeup artists, hair stylists, and wardrobe consultants there is a small army of people dedicated to shaping an attractive but regular person into the supermodels we see on the screen. After the photos are taken the digital editor manipulates images to make breasts appear larger, erase freckles, puff up lips, and make bodies appear thinner. Most of us know that this is what happens, but somehow it doesn't stop us from believing that these women wake up looking flawless. The truth is much closer to what each of us sees in the mirror each morning: a unique individual with sleepy eyes and messed up hair. We need to realize that children might not understand that what they see isn't real, and when you consider that young people are trying to be like the celebrities they see, it really makes accurate information very important. We don't want our children hurting themselves trying to live up to some bogus image that doesn't even exist.

What you can do instead: Get the real scoop

There are several websites that reveal what goes on behind the scenes. They include:

http://www.campaignforrealbeauty.com/flat4.asp?id=6909

http://glennferon.com/portfolio1/portfolio16.html

http://homepage.mac.com/gapodaca/digital/bikini/bikini1.html

The first link is from Dove and their "Campaign for Real Beauty" which is a good resource for celebrating the unique and realistic beauty in everyone. They have created a very short but powerful film clip that shows what a model goes through before a photo shoot, as well as what happens to the photo before it hits the billboard. The last two links take you to pages where you can scroll over different images to see the before and after result of photo editing. Parents can explore these sites with children to show them the extensive makeover process involved in creating the fantasy look we see in print and on the screen. This can help kids understand that there really is more than meets the eye when it comes to seemingly perfect beauty. If you have a photo editing program on your computer try your hand at manipulating an image the way a modeling agency would. Discuss the results with your children, and ask them what they think.

Parents strongly affect what their children think about weight, beauty, and media. If we are mindful of our own attitudes and comments we can give kids the tools they need to become critical thinkers who are will follow their own hearts and instincts about beauty rather than blindly assuming the mainstream attitudes. With discussion and investigation we can help them see right through the myths that Hollywood delivers and into something healthy and worth striving for.